The Others (2001)

I was in need of a Christmas ghost story and this is a damned sight better than either "Strictly Come Dancing" or "Paul O'Grady: for the Love of Dogs at Christmas". A terrific homage to Henry James and with a great, spooky 5.1 sound design!

Letterboxd Review

Satan’s Blood (1978)

Sex (a lot), cannibalism (not much) and black-candled, goat-worshipping flimflam (much more than normal) - just the way I like my Satanistic horror films. A few points:

• Why is the non-black dog called Blackie?
• How can they be following a car and then the same car approach them from behind?
• The ouija shit went on far too long.
• Stars an actress who looks very much like Jenny Agutter but gets her kit off even more.
• Was that magick lard they were smearing on each other?
• Who the hell was the bloke in the wooly hat?
• Why do they want to eat all the time?
• After the male satanist gets shot in the head, Jenny Agutter helpfully advises that "he needs a doctor"!
• Just how many times will they try and leave the house of the devil?
• What was with that doll?

A strange mix of bonkers and earnestness.

Note that the pretty crappy subtitles on the Screenbound blu-ray are often a little hard to read - small, white on white text is not good.

Letterboxd Review

Return of the Blind Dead (1973)

The grubby, crusty, devil worshipping zombie-mummy-vampire-skeleton-Templars on fucking HORSES are back but this time aided by a doom-saying Igor (played by a post-stroke and monobrowed Al Pacino) who wakes them from their evil slumber.

Is the sequel as scuzzy and atmospheric as the original? Generally speaking, yes. There are some great gruey effects with lashings of Humbrol red Euro-blood. It's simpler, faster-paced, more bloody and with a larger cast than the original. I even liked the sub-Carry On comedic scenes with the Commissioner and the miming maid. Unfortunately, some of the creeping atmosphere of the first film is lost amid the town location and the large cast, although that shot, near the end of the film, of the Templars standing still outside the church at dawn is fantastic. Lastly, what is it with zombie horses that cause a weird time-dilation whenever they're ridden?

As well as Igor, the cast includes, an eyebrowless (I think Igor got her share) woman whom everyone seems to have fallen head-over-heels in love with; a real bastard of a mayor; a rapist henchman; and a sexist ex-army firework technician.

You know what I'd love to see? The Blind Dead Versus The Flashing Blade!

This review was for the longer Spanish cut.

Nope-Tober: Random Shit for an Ill-disciplined Mind

Letterboxd Review

Tombs of the Blind Dead (1972)

Sure, it's slow but... grubby, crusty, devil worshipping zombie-mummy-vampire-skeleton-templars on fucking HORSES!

WARNING: This film contains the weirdest, most inappropriate and lecherous mortuary technicians ever!

"She was asking for it. Going around flaunting herself. It's as if they want to be bitten." -- Mortuary technician

Letterboxd Review

Timecrimes (2007)

The time-travel and resultant paradox is fine but I just don't understand why she couldn't fit the table through the door?

Letterboxd Review

The Werewolf and the Yeti (1975)

As there is still no legal release of The Werewolf and the Yeti, I watched a very good quality bootleg DVD with a dubbed English soundtrack.

On a trip to the Himalayas to search for the yeti, Waldemar is separated from his party and turned into a werewolf by a pair of half-naked, vampire-witches! Will Waldemar find the yeti? Will the characters realise that hiking the tallest mountain range in the world in nothing but ski jackets and slacks is not a good idea? Will Wandesa's (a Vapirella clone) dress fall off?

Okay, onto the werewolf design. Yes, it is just a man with a hairy face and fangs but at least it was better than the yeti, which reminded me of a partially-balding, meowing, teddy-bear. It wasn't even white! Paul Naschy's transformation into the werewolf was old school, stop-motion, which was fine. There is still the problem of a werewolf wearing clothes, although I can see why they did this: the costume is cheaper and there's no need to re-clothe a naked man after every transformation, which would be an issue in the Himalayas where shops, washing lines full of clothes and small children with a handy collection of balloons are pretty rare. No matter how poor the yeti was, I'd still like to have seen more of it and the final fight between werewolf and yeti was pretty funny - it looked more like two Care Bears cuddling than a pair of ravenous beasts tearing each other apart.

The Werewolf and the Yeti was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. The photography was good with some nice lighting. Performances were fine, if a little hammy, with Naschy doing his usual hirsute man type of werewolf. The dialogue was okay (favourite line: "You're not an ordinary woman, you've got personality!"). The score was discordant and threatening when required although it was a little loud. There is a reasonable amount of gore including an impaling (a la Cannibal Holocaust), a flaying and some slashed throats - nothing too nasty. The film is pretty well paced with regular action sequences and at 80-odd minutes it never really outstayed its welcome.

As I mentioned at the start, I was watching a bootleg DVD and the quality really surprised me. The picture was clear and bright and the sound was excellent with a little background crackle and hiss. This was obviously not a VHS rip and if there's such a good source available then why doesn't someone do a proper release?

A decent, low-budget werewolf film that's worth an hour and a half of your time.

Letterboxd review

The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (1974)

March Around The World 2015 Challenge - Spain

This is going to have to be short and sweet because I'm exhausted and I did nod off in places but this was not necessarily due to the reasonably slow pace of the first half of the film. There's some decent, nasty grue and "life-like" zombies complete with autopsy scars. Way more interesting than most of the zombie movies released nowadays.

One day I'll re-watch it and write a decent review but for now you're just going to have to watch it yourselves as I'm off to bed...

Original letterboxd review