Author: Troy Howarth
Year: 2015
Publisher: Midnight Marquee Press Inc.
Format: Soft-cover (28cm x 22cm)
Pages: 233
What Troy Howarth has attempted with So Deadly, So Perverse is pretty amazing; a two volume history of the Gialli which includes all of the major releases in the genre as well as a large number of the lesser known examples. Given that the definition of a Giallo film twists and turns like the plot in one of the films, it's not surprising that you may find a favourite missing due to it not hitting Troy's definition of a Giallo.
Starting with a series of articles on the roots of the Giallo, including a piece but the legendary screenwriter Ernesto Gasdaldi, an article on the Italian pulp books that inspired the genre and an explanation of the term Giallo and what films in the book have been included, what has not been left out and why. The book then moves on to a year-by-year analysis of over one hundred films.
Each film's entry starts with some basic details including title (and alternative titles), cast and crew and home video availability (please note that, as in most reference guides, the DVD/Blu-ray release information is now out of date and many of the films now have higher quality releases available). This is followed by a spoiler-less synopsis of the plot, Troy's opinion of the film and then some brief background details of notable members of the cast and crew. Some films take only half a page whilst other, more important works are allowed several pages including full colour photos and poster reproductions.
A terrific encyclopaedia of Giallo with an impressive number of titles, many of which I've never heard of. Troy's opinion, whilst personal, is never overbearing and always tries to find the positive points in even the most derivative of films.
If there is a fault it is that there is no index that lists which page a particular film appears on (only the year it was made). Add to this is the fact that the year is only printed at the start of each chapter and not the top of each page and you have an amazing resource that hides the film, for which you are looking, deep within labyrinthine list of other suspects. Much like a Giallo then :)
Highly recommended and essential for fans of the Giallo.
Horror / Giallo / Exploitation / Underground / Sci-Fi / Experimental / Poliziotteschi/ Trash / Drone / Punk / Noise / Metal / Jazz
Showing posts with label review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label review. Show all posts
Tuesday, 17 May 2016
Friday, 6 May 2016
Thaco (2008)
Four friends nerd-out over AD&D, GURPS, life and pizza.
Possibly incomprehensible to non-role-players (if you cannot figure out why the title "Thaco" is spelled incorrectly, this may not be the film for you), short, cheaply made, full of hammy acting and in-jokes but good fun for those of us of a lawful-evil disposition.
-- Bolus Gutbucket: Lvl 9 Lawful-Evil Dwarven Warrior (weapon of choice: a cursed, senile Bastard sword)
Letterboxd Review
Possibly incomprehensible to non-role-players (if you cannot figure out why the title "Thaco" is spelled incorrectly, this may not be the film for you), short, cheaply made, full of hammy acting and in-jokes but good fun for those of us of a lawful-evil disposition.
-- Bolus Gutbucket: Lvl 9 Lawful-Evil Dwarven Warrior (weapon of choice: a cursed, senile Bastard sword)
Letterboxd Review
Friday, 22 April 2016
The Ego Death - Rough Cut 4 (2016)
A short film by Ludvig Gür that, in this rough cut, lasts 11:42.
The film opens with a man (Jonas) staring intensely into the camera/mirror, which is then followed by the text "7 Days Till The World Ends". We then follow Jonas over the next several days while he is groomed by and cult and waiting for his world to end.
Superficially, it seems that The Ego Death is about how cults and religions can control a person by preying on their weaknesses - in this case Jonas' mental state after his girlfriend leaves him. Looking a little deeper and, as the title describes, it's about the ego and what happens to us if that much needed layer that controls our behaviour is removed? What if the id is all that is left - our base instincts and primitive urges? Does the cult even exist or is this Jonas' method of dealing with his mental collapse?
The B&W photography is stark and the shots are very nicely framed with a good feel for space. There is minimal dialogue, which is good as Gordon Woodward's (Jonas) delivery is a little stilted and this is highlighted by the strong performance given by Robert Prowse as Evan, the cult leader. The soundtrack provides a continual feeling of tension and reminded me a little of Pauline Oliveros' Deep Listening Band with their long, circular drones.
Overall, a well-shot and interesting film. If there is a problem it would be that it's a little "on-the-nose", a little too obvious. A simple solution would be to retitle the film - this way you're not leading the viewer from the outset.
Letterboxd Review
The film opens with a man (Jonas) staring intensely into the camera/mirror, which is then followed by the text "7 Days Till The World Ends". We then follow Jonas over the next several days while he is groomed by and cult and waiting for his world to end.
Superficially, it seems that The Ego Death is about how cults and religions can control a person by preying on their weaknesses - in this case Jonas' mental state after his girlfriend leaves him. Looking a little deeper and, as the title describes, it's about the ego and what happens to us if that much needed layer that controls our behaviour is removed? What if the id is all that is left - our base instincts and primitive urges? Does the cult even exist or is this Jonas' method of dealing with his mental collapse?
The B&W photography is stark and the shots are very nicely framed with a good feel for space. There is minimal dialogue, which is good as Gordon Woodward's (Jonas) delivery is a little stilted and this is highlighted by the strong performance given by Robert Prowse as Evan, the cult leader. The soundtrack provides a continual feeling of tension and reminded me a little of Pauline Oliveros' Deep Listening Band with their long, circular drones.
Overall, a well-shot and interesting film. If there is a problem it would be that it's a little "on-the-nose", a little too obvious. A simple solution would be to retitle the film - this way you're not leading the viewer from the outset.
Letterboxd Review
Sunday, 17 April 2016
The Werewolf and the Yeti (1975)
As there is still no legal release of The Werewolf and the Yeti, I watched a very good quality bootleg DVD with a dubbed English soundtrack.
On a trip to the Himalayas to search for the yeti, Waldemar is separated from his party and turned into a werewolf by a pair of half-naked, vampire-witches! Will Waldemar find the yeti? Will the characters realise that hiking the tallest mountain range in the world in nothing but ski jackets and slacks is not a good idea? Will Wandesa's (a Vapirella clone) dress fall off?
Okay, onto the werewolf design. Yes, it is just a man with a hairy face and fangs but at least it was better than the yeti, which reminded me of a partially-balding, meowing, teddy-bear. It wasn't even white! Paul Naschy's transformation into the werewolf was old school, stop-motion, which was fine. There is still the problem of a werewolf wearing clothes, although I can see why they did this: the costume is cheaper and there's no need to re-clothe a naked man after every transformation, which would be an issue in the Himalayas where shops, washing lines full of clothes and small children with a handy collection of balloons are pretty rare. No matter how poor the yeti was, I'd still like to have seen more of it and the final fight between werewolf and yeti was pretty funny - it looked more like two Care Bears cuddling than a pair of ravenous beasts tearing each other apart.
The Werewolf and the Yeti was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. The photography was good with some nice lighting. Performances were fine, if a little hammy, with Naschy doing his usual hirsute man type of werewolf. The dialogue was okay (favourite line: "You're not an ordinary woman, you've got personality!"). The score was discordant and threatening when required although it was a little loud. There is a reasonable amount of gore including an impaling (a la Cannibal Holocaust), a flaying and some slashed throats - nothing too nasty. The film is pretty well paced with regular action sequences and at 80-odd minutes it never really outstayed its welcome.
As I mentioned at the start, I was watching a bootleg DVD and the quality really surprised me. The picture was clear and bright and the sound was excellent with a little background crackle and hiss. This was obviously not a VHS rip and if there's such a good source available then why doesn't someone do a proper release?
A decent, low-budget werewolf film that's worth an hour and a half of your time.
Letterboxd review
On a trip to the Himalayas to search for the yeti, Waldemar is separated from his party and turned into a werewolf by a pair of half-naked, vampire-witches! Will Waldemar find the yeti? Will the characters realise that hiking the tallest mountain range in the world in nothing but ski jackets and slacks is not a good idea? Will Wandesa's (a Vapirella clone) dress fall off?
Okay, onto the werewolf design. Yes, it is just a man with a hairy face and fangs but at least it was better than the yeti, which reminded me of a partially-balding, meowing, teddy-bear. It wasn't even white! Paul Naschy's transformation into the werewolf was old school, stop-motion, which was fine. There is still the problem of a werewolf wearing clothes, although I can see why they did this: the costume is cheaper and there's no need to re-clothe a naked man after every transformation, which would be an issue in the Himalayas where shops, washing lines full of clothes and small children with a handy collection of balloons are pretty rare. No matter how poor the yeti was, I'd still like to have seen more of it and the final fight between werewolf and yeti was pretty funny - it looked more like two Care Bears cuddling than a pair of ravenous beasts tearing each other apart.
The Werewolf and the Yeti was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. The photography was good with some nice lighting. Performances were fine, if a little hammy, with Naschy doing his usual hirsute man type of werewolf. The dialogue was okay (favourite line: "You're not an ordinary woman, you've got personality!"). The score was discordant and threatening when required although it was a little loud. There is a reasonable amount of gore including an impaling (a la Cannibal Holocaust), a flaying and some slashed throats - nothing too nasty. The film is pretty well paced with regular action sequences and at 80-odd minutes it never really outstayed its welcome.
As I mentioned at the start, I was watching a bootleg DVD and the quality really surprised me. The picture was clear and bright and the sound was excellent with a little background crackle and hiss. This was obviously not a VHS rip and if there's such a good source available then why doesn't someone do a proper release?
A decent, low-budget werewolf film that's worth an hour and a half of your time.
Letterboxd review
Friday, 8 April 2016
Vampyros Lesbos (1971)
This review is for the Severin Blu-Ray (UK edition) with German soundtrack and English subtitles in the film's native ration of 1.66:1, which leaves narrow black bars at the sides of the picture.
Vampyros Lesbos starts with a sexy, trippy striptease with the beautiful Soledad Miranda (playing Countess Nadine Carody) writhing away to an organ (fnarr, fnarr), whilst Linda (Ewa Strömberg) and her boyfriend Omar (Andrés Monales complete with "Just for Men" styled hair) ogle from a table. With her hallucinatory dance act the Countess places Linda under a spell and, in the following days, haunts her dreams. Sexy, vampyric shenanigans ensue.
The bones of the Dracula story are tucked away under layers of sex and psychedelia. Linda meets with the Countess to discuss a property left to her in a will rather than the purchase of a house in the novel. She hires a boat to get to the Countess' island instead of a coach to the castle. Then we have the haunting of dreams, the locals warning Linda not to visit the island, a Renfield type character, Linda Westinghouse instead of Lucy Westenra and Doctor Seward (who is a bit of a dick). You get the idea. I think Franco must have been reading the, admittedly pretty dry, book and thought "hey, it's the 1970! Let's sex this up! Nicole, bring me my mescaline".
The relationship between Linda and the Countess is not based on any form of hypnosis but is the result of Linda's frustrated love-life and the Countess' need for more than just blind obedience. Watch the first bedroom encounter between the pair and note that Linda's expression is not of someone under control but that of someone who is nervous and excited. The scene is very similar to a famous scene in the uncut Hammer Dracula (1958). in fact the control in this film tends to come from the male characters, although there are the Countess' previous victims to consider, who are reduced to dolls in the strip scenes. The Countess later admits her love for Linda when she says "But then I met Linda. Now I'm under her spell". If it wasn't for the gratuitous tits-and-ass I'd never call Vampyros Lesbos an exploitation film and most definitely not a horror film. This is as much a love story as Lady Chatterley's Lover!
The photography is beautiful with deep landscape shots cutting to macro shots of insects. Sure we get loads of zoom shots, but would it be a Jess Franco film without them? The colours are vivid; full of bright reds, deep blues and burnt oranges. They really give the film a Mediterranean feel. Where most vampire films use black as the predominate colour and red as a highlight, Franco reverses this and black is used sparingly, but when used it stands out wonderfully. There are a few shots that are really out of focus but these are few and far between and seem to be the fault of the focus-puller during Franco's frequent zooms.
The soundtrack? It's like distant conversations picked up by a ham radio enthusiast, looped, distorted and played back alongside some R&B/jazz Hammond organ and trippy sitar. Not just one of the classic exploitation soundtracks but one of the greatest film soundtracks of the 1970s.
The performances are, on the whole, excellent and above Franco usual standard. Miranda is great; at times fragile and then cold and aloof, whilst Carody (as Linda) is suitably naive and insecure at the start but slowly develops into a strong assertive woman. Michael Berling is excellent as the patriarchal and controlling Seward.
For gorehounds there is very little blood in Vampyros Lesbos and for those wanting tits-and-ass, there's frequent boobs and bush, one sub-softcore moment and a couple of very nice stripteases - the second being quite brilliant as the Countess slowly removes her clothes and dresses her living doll in them. Just don't watch the film expecting a Jess Franco sex frenzy.
The quality of the picture is very good with strong colours that pop off the screen without being over-saturated. The sound is clear and without noticeable hiss and the subtitles seem accurate.
A story of control versus love and sexual liberation. Seductive, sexy, beautiful and quite brilliant.
"The Queen of the Night will bear you up on her black wings"
Letterboxd Review
Vampyros Lesbos starts with a sexy, trippy striptease with the beautiful Soledad Miranda (playing Countess Nadine Carody) writhing away to an organ (fnarr, fnarr), whilst Linda (Ewa Strömberg) and her boyfriend Omar (Andrés Monales complete with "Just for Men" styled hair) ogle from a table. With her hallucinatory dance act the Countess places Linda under a spell and, in the following days, haunts her dreams. Sexy, vampyric shenanigans ensue.
The bones of the Dracula story are tucked away under layers of sex and psychedelia. Linda meets with the Countess to discuss a property left to her in a will rather than the purchase of a house in the novel. She hires a boat to get to the Countess' island instead of a coach to the castle. Then we have the haunting of dreams, the locals warning Linda not to visit the island, a Renfield type character, Linda Westinghouse instead of Lucy Westenra and Doctor Seward (who is a bit of a dick). You get the idea. I think Franco must have been reading the, admittedly pretty dry, book and thought "hey, it's the 1970! Let's sex this up! Nicole, bring me my mescaline".
The relationship between Linda and the Countess is not based on any form of hypnosis but is the result of Linda's frustrated love-life and the Countess' need for more than just blind obedience. Watch the first bedroom encounter between the pair and note that Linda's expression is not of someone under control but that of someone who is nervous and excited. The scene is very similar to a famous scene in the uncut Hammer Dracula (1958). in fact the control in this film tends to come from the male characters, although there are the Countess' previous victims to consider, who are reduced to dolls in the strip scenes. The Countess later admits her love for Linda when she says "But then I met Linda. Now I'm under her spell". If it wasn't for the gratuitous tits-and-ass I'd never call Vampyros Lesbos an exploitation film and most definitely not a horror film. This is as much a love story as Lady Chatterley's Lover!
The photography is beautiful with deep landscape shots cutting to macro shots of insects. Sure we get loads of zoom shots, but would it be a Jess Franco film without them? The colours are vivid; full of bright reds, deep blues and burnt oranges. They really give the film a Mediterranean feel. Where most vampire films use black as the predominate colour and red as a highlight, Franco reverses this and black is used sparingly, but when used it stands out wonderfully. There are a few shots that are really out of focus but these are few and far between and seem to be the fault of the focus-puller during Franco's frequent zooms.
The soundtrack? It's like distant conversations picked up by a ham radio enthusiast, looped, distorted and played back alongside some R&B/jazz Hammond organ and trippy sitar. Not just one of the classic exploitation soundtracks but one of the greatest film soundtracks of the 1970s.
The performances are, on the whole, excellent and above Franco usual standard. Miranda is great; at times fragile and then cold and aloof, whilst Carody (as Linda) is suitably naive and insecure at the start but slowly develops into a strong assertive woman. Michael Berling is excellent as the patriarchal and controlling Seward.
For gorehounds there is very little blood in Vampyros Lesbos and for those wanting tits-and-ass, there's frequent boobs and bush, one sub-softcore moment and a couple of very nice stripteases - the second being quite brilliant as the Countess slowly removes her clothes and dresses her living doll in them. Just don't watch the film expecting a Jess Franco sex frenzy.
The quality of the picture is very good with strong colours that pop off the screen without being over-saturated. The sound is clear and without noticeable hiss and the subtitles seem accurate.
A story of control versus love and sexual liberation. Seductive, sexy, beautiful and quite brilliant.
"The Queen of the Night will bear you up on her black wings"
Letterboxd Review
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Monday, 4 April 2016
Things (1989)
This review is for the Intervision DVD.
"WARNING! HORROR and BRUTAL VIOLENCE in FULL COLOR"
Remember the old days when Plan 9 from Outer Space was considered the worst film ever made? These days it seems that milestone is being passed on an almost daily basis. We've had Manos: The Hands of Fate, Troll 2, The Room and more recently, the nil-budget, monster-movie exploitation of Birdemic: Shock and Terror. The appetite for shit is apparently still very healthy in an age of masturbatory, Spandex and cape-wearing explodavision.
I wasn't sure how to review Things, so I thought I'd try a method I had already used for Demons in My Head and pretty much list everything that happens in a low-rent, stream-of-consciousness type way. This seems to work well with these "what the fuck is happening" type films and to be honest I wasn't too bothered with plot spoilers in a film as notoriously disjointed as Things. So, let's get started...
Picture the following with 8-bit midi-synth and some nasty Casio-style backbeat playing in the background... well, when I say playing, it's more like start, stop, start, louder, rewind, stop, ff, stop, quieter, start. You get the idea.
A nuclear bomb goes off and we get the title screen. A man, Doug, asks a devil-masked woman to have his baby... but wait, the baby has already been born and bites his hand! Doug then wakes up... it was all a dream! He gets up and moves into the kitchen for some pills for his girlfriend. A door closes on its own. The title screen is displayed again along with the some disjointed credits...wait...freeze-frame...Amber Lynn is in this? Then she appears in all her hair-lacquered-within-an-inch-of-its-life, shoulder-padded glory as a newsreader with the name Amber Lynn! This is like some weird parallel universe where instead of being a world famous porn star she became a Fox News anchor with no idea of what her dialogue is, let along the camera! Two men (we'll call them Beardy and Mullet) knock at at Doug's door and get no answer. They let themselves in and pull a book and tape deck from the freezer... yes, the freezer. Beardy then describes the plot of the Evil Dead whilst they play the tape. Mullet then takes off his jacket and puts it in the freezer, because... well, just because. Doug appears, shouts, turns the tape off and disappears again. Beardy searches the kitchen cupboards, turns some taps on and off, and then flicks a plastic fish for no reason whatsoever. Amber Lynn is back! Then a shot of a man and a woman poking another man's decomposing hand. Then it just gets weird.
That's the first ten minutes or so and at this point I have to give up with my "stream-of-conciousness" idea as I'm spending to much time typing and not enough watching. So back to the standard review format.
There's a Robert Heinlein story called "And He Built a Crooked House" about a house built in an unfolded tesseract configuration which then collapses in on itself, becoming a weird quantum-mechanical, architectural conundrum. A house where you can climb the stairs only to find yourself at the bottom again and where you can walk into the kitchen and end up in the bedroom. Things is a little like that - you have entered a very strange dimension where even Rod Serling would fear to tread.
So we have some fun practical effects (I've seen much worse - I'm looking at you Cannibal Terror). The sound is all over the place with variable levels (just wait until you hear the paper-towels!), muffling, background hiss and some of the worst ADR outside of Hong Kong. The editing, and I use the word extremely loosely, is insane and completely incoherent. There is no shot composition at all and the picture quality is really, really bad - fuzzy, out of focus, blurry, pick an adjective. Then we come to the lighting! We have lighting, then no lighting, then red lighting, then yellow, then none, all within a single scene. Plot wise, so many things happen which have absolutely no bearing on the plot, character development or anything at all - they just happen! I'm sure there must be a plot in there somewhere, but I'm buggered if I can find it. The performances are bad but not the worst I've seen. In fact the doctor is up there with Torgo from Manos as one of my most favourite ever characters.
If there's one phrase that sums up Things it's "shit happens". It's almost like the director took the title a little too literally and took a big bucket full of "Things", threw them against a wall and filmed what stuck... and also what fell off into a gloopy mess on the floor.
I know all this makes the film sound terrible - and it is, it really is - but you can tell the film-makers really love horror and Things has a lot of heart. One to watch with friends and a large quantity of beer.
A masterpiece of incompetence.
Amber Lynn... why?
Letterboxd Review
"WARNING! HORROR and BRUTAL VIOLENCE in FULL COLOR"
Remember the old days when Plan 9 from Outer Space was considered the worst film ever made? These days it seems that milestone is being passed on an almost daily basis. We've had Manos: The Hands of Fate, Troll 2, The Room and more recently, the nil-budget, monster-movie exploitation of Birdemic: Shock and Terror. The appetite for shit is apparently still very healthy in an age of masturbatory, Spandex and cape-wearing explodavision.
I wasn't sure how to review Things, so I thought I'd try a method I had already used for Demons in My Head and pretty much list everything that happens in a low-rent, stream-of-consciousness type way. This seems to work well with these "what the fuck is happening" type films and to be honest I wasn't too bothered with plot spoilers in a film as notoriously disjointed as Things. So, let's get started...
Picture the following with 8-bit midi-synth and some nasty Casio-style backbeat playing in the background... well, when I say playing, it's more like start, stop, start, louder, rewind, stop, ff, stop, quieter, start. You get the idea.
A nuclear bomb goes off and we get the title screen. A man, Doug, asks a devil-masked woman to have his baby... but wait, the baby has already been born and bites his hand! Doug then wakes up... it was all a dream! He gets up and moves into the kitchen for some pills for his girlfriend. A door closes on its own. The title screen is displayed again along with the some disjointed credits...wait...freeze-frame...Amber Lynn is in this? Then she appears in all her hair-lacquered-within-an-inch-of-its-life, shoulder-padded glory as a newsreader with the name Amber Lynn! This is like some weird parallel universe where instead of being a world famous porn star she became a Fox News anchor with no idea of what her dialogue is, let along the camera! Two men (we'll call them Beardy and Mullet) knock at at Doug's door and get no answer. They let themselves in and pull a book and tape deck from the freezer... yes, the freezer. Beardy then describes the plot of the Evil Dead whilst they play the tape. Mullet then takes off his jacket and puts it in the freezer, because... well, just because. Doug appears, shouts, turns the tape off and disappears again. Beardy searches the kitchen cupboards, turns some taps on and off, and then flicks a plastic fish for no reason whatsoever. Amber Lynn is back! Then a shot of a man and a woman poking another man's decomposing hand. Then it just gets weird.
That's the first ten minutes or so and at this point I have to give up with my "stream-of-conciousness" idea as I'm spending to much time typing and not enough watching. So back to the standard review format.
There's a Robert Heinlein story called "And He Built a Crooked House" about a house built in an unfolded tesseract configuration which then collapses in on itself, becoming a weird quantum-mechanical, architectural conundrum. A house where you can climb the stairs only to find yourself at the bottom again and where you can walk into the kitchen and end up in the bedroom. Things is a little like that - you have entered a very strange dimension where even Rod Serling would fear to tread.
So we have some fun practical effects (I've seen much worse - I'm looking at you Cannibal Terror). The sound is all over the place with variable levels (just wait until you hear the paper-towels!), muffling, background hiss and some of the worst ADR outside of Hong Kong. The editing, and I use the word extremely loosely, is insane and completely incoherent. There is no shot composition at all and the picture quality is really, really bad - fuzzy, out of focus, blurry, pick an adjective. Then we come to the lighting! We have lighting, then no lighting, then red lighting, then yellow, then none, all within a single scene. Plot wise, so many things happen which have absolutely no bearing on the plot, character development or anything at all - they just happen! I'm sure there must be a plot in there somewhere, but I'm buggered if I can find it. The performances are bad but not the worst I've seen. In fact the doctor is up there with Torgo from Manos as one of my most favourite ever characters.
If there's one phrase that sums up Things it's "shit happens". It's almost like the director took the title a little too literally and took a big bucket full of "Things", threw them against a wall and filmed what stuck... and also what fell off into a gloopy mess on the floor.
I know all this makes the film sound terrible - and it is, it really is - but you can tell the film-makers really love horror and Things has a lot of heart. One to watch with friends and a large quantity of beer.
A masterpiece of incompetence.
Amber Lynn... why?
Letterboxd Review
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Monday, 22 February 2016
Harvest Lake (2016)
"All this plant life is full of acid, even the grass" -- Star Trek, The Way to Eden (1969)
Four friends getting back to nature, fall down an acid drenched rabbit hole and in the process lose their inhibitions in a frenzy of fungi-fucking.
As in music, a sophomore film is always going to be tough. Viewer expectations will always want to reference the first film and this is generally how directors end up in a rut; churning out rehashes of what the audience liked about their first successful film. Director Scott Schirmer firmly kicks these expectations into touch and then stomps all over them. Harvest Lake is not Found.
I don't think I've ever seen a film quite like Harvest Lake. Although the basic premise is very simple, calling it high-concept is most inappropriate. This is horror as art and I guess the closest film in feel and tone would be Jonathan Glazer's Under the Skin. The feelings engendered by the film are so subtle that we could ask ourselves, is this really horror? While the film does explore certain fears; nature, loss of control, sex, gender, it is, like all good horror films, only horrific based on what we bring to the film. It gently strokes our anxieties rather than sticking a knife in our guts. As the friends start to lose control, merging with nature, they revert to what we all are underneath the artifice that society cloaks us in - animals fucking in a forest, and to some that's pretty scary.
The stunning rural location and atmospheric sound design give a naturalistic feel; tranquillity during one moment, unease in the next. Light and shade. The fungi themselves are well designed and subtly remind us of sexual organs: an oozing penis, lactating breasts, some gently throbbing labia. The forest creature itself feels like it's always been there, since the dawn of time. An ancient being, waiting to bring us home, to be the creatures that we once were. These are effective and elegant effects that enhance without overpowering the film's simplicity.
The static camera-work with macro, wide-shots and slow pans are perfectly suited to the tone and environment. It was a real pleasure to watch a low-budget film without any damned "shaky-cam". It must have been tempting to throw a shit load of filters onto the camera during the trippy sequences but cinematographer Brian Williams avoids this cliché and instead lets the landscape and the camera do the talking.
The performances are wonderfully uninhibited. Personal and sexual boundaries are set in the first 15 minutes and then gradually discarded throughout the rest of the film. While, for me, Ellie Church, Tristan Risk and Jason Crowe were the stand-outs, the whole cast work really well together and look like they had a real blast filming. These aren't your average, young American teens that you want to see killed at the first opportunity - I like these characters! The film is well scripted with naturalistic dialogue and some light touches of humour.
Although the influence of Glazer, Cronenberg, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers and even a little Brothers Grimm can be seen, Harvest Lake is very much its own film and high praise should go to the cast and crew for creating a unique and beautiful experience.
Harvest Lake is an unnerving and quietly scary sexual-fairytale. Support independent film-makers and order a copy. At the moment the initial limited edition run of 250 Blu-Rays (I'm in the credits!) has sold out but a non-limited edition will be available for pre-order on March 11th 2016 (ships March 15th).
Letterboxd Review
Four friends getting back to nature, fall down an acid drenched rabbit hole and in the process lose their inhibitions in a frenzy of fungi-fucking.
As in music, a sophomore film is always going to be tough. Viewer expectations will always want to reference the first film and this is generally how directors end up in a rut; churning out rehashes of what the audience liked about their first successful film. Director Scott Schirmer firmly kicks these expectations into touch and then stomps all over them. Harvest Lake is not Found.
I don't think I've ever seen a film quite like Harvest Lake. Although the basic premise is very simple, calling it high-concept is most inappropriate. This is horror as art and I guess the closest film in feel and tone would be Jonathan Glazer's Under the Skin. The feelings engendered by the film are so subtle that we could ask ourselves, is this really horror? While the film does explore certain fears; nature, loss of control, sex, gender, it is, like all good horror films, only horrific based on what we bring to the film. It gently strokes our anxieties rather than sticking a knife in our guts. As the friends start to lose control, merging with nature, they revert to what we all are underneath the artifice that society cloaks us in - animals fucking in a forest, and to some that's pretty scary.
The stunning rural location and atmospheric sound design give a naturalistic feel; tranquillity during one moment, unease in the next. Light and shade. The fungi themselves are well designed and subtly remind us of sexual organs: an oozing penis, lactating breasts, some gently throbbing labia. The forest creature itself feels like it's always been there, since the dawn of time. An ancient being, waiting to bring us home, to be the creatures that we once were. These are effective and elegant effects that enhance without overpowering the film's simplicity.
The static camera-work with macro, wide-shots and slow pans are perfectly suited to the tone and environment. It was a real pleasure to watch a low-budget film without any damned "shaky-cam". It must have been tempting to throw a shit load of filters onto the camera during the trippy sequences but cinematographer Brian Williams avoids this cliché and instead lets the landscape and the camera do the talking.
The performances are wonderfully uninhibited. Personal and sexual boundaries are set in the first 15 minutes and then gradually discarded throughout the rest of the film. While, for me, Ellie Church, Tristan Risk and Jason Crowe were the stand-outs, the whole cast work really well together and look like they had a real blast filming. These aren't your average, young American teens that you want to see killed at the first opportunity - I like these characters! The film is well scripted with naturalistic dialogue and some light touches of humour.
Although the influence of Glazer, Cronenberg, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers and even a little Brothers Grimm can be seen, Harvest Lake is very much its own film and high praise should go to the cast and crew for creating a unique and beautiful experience.
Harvest Lake is an unnerving and quietly scary sexual-fairytale. Support independent film-makers and order a copy. At the moment the initial limited edition run of 250 Blu-Rays (I'm in the credits!) has sold out but a non-limited edition will be available for pre-order on March 11th 2016 (ships March 15th).
Letterboxd Review
Saturday, 13 February 2016
The Devil Rides Out (1968)
A simple tale of witchcraft, faith and the triumph of good over evil.
This review is for the new Studio Canal Blu-Ray; a restoration taken from new a 4K scan of the original negative (note that the actual release is a 2K downscale). The original aspect ratio of 1.66:1 is kept and the film is very slightly pillar-boxed with narrow black bands at the side of the screen. The picture itself is wonderful and I can't imagine there being a better release of this late-sixties, Hammer classic. So far so good, but what about the controversial digital enhancements to the original optical effects? Well, I'll leave you in suspense until the end of the review.
The Devil Rides Out is possibly the first horror film I ever saw as a child, although due to the haze of time this honour may go to an equally loved film, Jacques Tourneur's Night of the Demon (1957). At the time that the film conjured an almost palpable sense of dread and terror that made quite the impression on a young boy, aged still in single figures. As a result I've owned The Devil Rides Out in various formats over the years from dodgy "recorded from TV" bootleg tapes, to legit VHS and DVD and now a Blu-Ray. Is it still as good? Well, after seeing the original cinema 'X' certification ident at the beginning of the film, I was hoping so.
The film follows Duc de Richleau (Christopher Lee), aristocrat and occultist and his friends Rex Van Ryn (Leon Greene) and Richard Eaton (Paul Eddington) as they try to save the lives and very souls of son-of-a-friend Simon (Patrick Mower) and mystical conduit Tanith (Niké Arrighi) from the dastardly cult leader Mocata (Charles Gray).
The story could come off as risible and overblown, but is treated with with absolutely seriousness and gravitas by all concerned. By all accounts Christopher Lee really did believe that witchcraft was a dangerous subject that could imperil your sanity and soul. The film latches onto the late sixties fascination with the occult and mysticism and goes to great lengths to portray magic with an accuracy that cannot but aid believability and sustains suspension-of-disbelief throughout the film.
The Devil Rides Out relies, in equal parts, in both the horror of the imagination and some more physical manifestations of evil. Along the path to salvation our heroes must face a djinn, a giant spider, Baphomet, and even the Angel of Death itself.
That the film does not rely on blood and gore (of which there is none) but instead builds a totally believable world filled with a real sense of dread and impending doom is a testament to the care and attention of the cast and crew. Set in the late twenties the setting could come over as a little old fashioned and privileged with every speaking part (apart from two butlers) being either stinking rich or members of the aristocracy but at least it sticks to its guns and rarely makes a mistake in set or dressing - one notable error is the 1960s haircut and rather repulsive and flammable dresses belonging to Richard Eaton's wife. There is none of the farcical, tongue-in-cheek campness that infected British horror of the period.
Directed by Terence Fisher (The Curse of Frankenstein, Dracula) with his usual colourful gothic style, The Devil Rides Out oozes the "good versus evil" duality in his Christian background and, during one scene, even goes so far as to have Mocata equate Satanism with science. The compositions are quite beautiful and the use of colour even more so.
The screenplay by horror legend Richard Matheson (I Am Legend, The Twilight Zone) roars along like Lee's 1927 Bentley barely pausing for breath; there is always something on screen to hold your attention.
Lee plays de Richleau perfectly, perhaps calling on his own aristocratic roots. He is authoritative, commanding and strong, used to people doing his will. What Mocata obtains through mesmerism and cunning, Lee achieves with will and a belief in the social hierarchy present in Britain at the time. A favourite 'Lee' scene of mine is when, towards the beginning of the film, Tanith mentions "Surely we're not meant to be more than 13"; the sharp look that Lee gives her is wonderful!
Charles Gray plays the mesmeric, seductive and quietly menacing Mocata. A villain very much in the mould of Karswell from Tourneur's Night of the Demon but without the childlike petulance. Sort of like a cross between an insurance salesman and Derren Brown.
I know he gets a lot of stick but I think Leon Greene (with Patrick Allen's voice!) is great as de Richleau's friend Rex and the film's resident blundering oaf; forever sticking his foot in his mouth and creating danger wherever he goes. His disbelief in magic is as much to do with stupidity and lack of imagination as it is rationalism.Sure he can be as wooden as a post but I sort of like his blank faced charm. He plays us, the audience, the doubters who need persuading that dark forces really do exist.
Joining Lee and Greene in our triumvirate of heroes is Paul Eddington (The Good Life; Yes Minister) as Richard "Nice but Dim" Eaton the husband of her of the hideous dresses.
A young Patrick Mower (Cry of the Banshee, Callan) is suitably wet-behind-the-ears as the naive Satanist neophyte Simon and is joined by Niké Arrighi as a beautiful and slightly odd and unhinged Tanith. Together they make a great pair of damsels-in-distress, needing constant vigilance to make sure they don't go wondering off back to Mocata or strangling someone in their sleep.
Finally, I must mention a brief appearance by Gwen Ffrangcon Davies as a Countess with the weirdest, most fucked up eyes ever to grace the screen.
While it has its faults (the back-projection during the car scenes is a little ropey and the black baptism orgy could have been a little raunchier), The Devil Rides Out is a master-class in creating a tense horror film from one of Britain's finest genre directors and featuring a top-notch cast. A beautiful restoration of a classic film.
Now, on to the effects enhancements. During the making of The Devil Rides Out the budget given to effects wizard Michael Staiver-Hutchins was cut, ensuring that the majority of the major set-piece effects were unfinished or reduced in scale. Having watched this film well over ten times in the past few decades I can state that I never really cared that much as the atmosphere carried me past all the shonky genies and wobbly observatories. Having said that, I was really impressed with the lightness of touch used in updating the old optical effects. This wasn't a case of George Lucas stomping all over Star Wars in his size 12 "Industrial Light & Magic" boots. These, apart from a replaced lightening strike, are subtle enhancements that complement rather than obscure. Well done Cineimage!
The "making of" short documentary was extremely interesting and explained how having Black Magic rituals in the film was important as at the time the UK censors regularly cut them from films (i.e. Masque of the Red Death) and the country still had blasphemy laws (and, unbelievably, still do). Also featured is mention of the late 1960s occult revival and an interview with a very old and infirm Richard Matheson. A couple of interesting facts: Patrick Mower, who plays Simon, is 6' tall but looks short because the rest of the male cast were even taller. The horse playing the Angel of Death's mount was wheezy and only had one lung!
The restoration featurette features the daughters of special effects supervisor along with people from the restoration company, Cineimage. As mentioned above, the original effects were relatively poor, even for the time, due to budgetary restraints. I think the restoration/enhancements to the old optical effects were very sympathetically done and this doc explains how they were created. Anyway, his daughters said he'd be happy with the enhancements and that's good enough for me.
The short Dennis Wheatley featurette contains various talking-heads discussing Wheatley's reaction to Hammer's three adaptations.
Finally, for some strange reason the "World of Hammer" extra has something wrong with its audio (at least for me). Oliver Reed's voice-over pretty much disappeared apart from a deep rumble. This makes me think that they'd stuck it on the wrong channel - the subwoofer! In an attempt to fix this I turned off my 5.1 system and just used the TV sound. Oliver Reed was back, although still very, very badly mixed and almost lost against any of the clip soundtracks. I gave up.
"Don't look at the eyes Rex!"
"The Goat of Mendes, the Devil himself!"
"I shall not be back... but something will"
Letterboxd Review
This review is for the new Studio Canal Blu-Ray; a restoration taken from new a 4K scan of the original negative (note that the actual release is a 2K downscale). The original aspect ratio of 1.66:1 is kept and the film is very slightly pillar-boxed with narrow black bands at the side of the screen. The picture itself is wonderful and I can't imagine there being a better release of this late-sixties, Hammer classic. So far so good, but what about the controversial digital enhancements to the original optical effects? Well, I'll leave you in suspense until the end of the review.
The Devil Rides Out is possibly the first horror film I ever saw as a child, although due to the haze of time this honour may go to an equally loved film, Jacques Tourneur's Night of the Demon (1957). At the time that the film conjured an almost palpable sense of dread and terror that made quite the impression on a young boy, aged still in single figures. As a result I've owned The Devil Rides Out in various formats over the years from dodgy "recorded from TV" bootleg tapes, to legit VHS and DVD and now a Blu-Ray. Is it still as good? Well, after seeing the original cinema 'X' certification ident at the beginning of the film, I was hoping so.
The film follows Duc de Richleau (Christopher Lee), aristocrat and occultist and his friends Rex Van Ryn (Leon Greene) and Richard Eaton (Paul Eddington) as they try to save the lives and very souls of son-of-a-friend Simon (Patrick Mower) and mystical conduit Tanith (Niké Arrighi) from the dastardly cult leader Mocata (Charles Gray).
The story could come off as risible and overblown, but is treated with with absolutely seriousness and gravitas by all concerned. By all accounts Christopher Lee really did believe that witchcraft was a dangerous subject that could imperil your sanity and soul. The film latches onto the late sixties fascination with the occult and mysticism and goes to great lengths to portray magic with an accuracy that cannot but aid believability and sustains suspension-of-disbelief throughout the film.
The Devil Rides Out relies, in equal parts, in both the horror of the imagination and some more physical manifestations of evil. Along the path to salvation our heroes must face a djinn, a giant spider, Baphomet, and even the Angel of Death itself.
That the film does not rely on blood and gore (of which there is none) but instead builds a totally believable world filled with a real sense of dread and impending doom is a testament to the care and attention of the cast and crew. Set in the late twenties the setting could come over as a little old fashioned and privileged with every speaking part (apart from two butlers) being either stinking rich or members of the aristocracy but at least it sticks to its guns and rarely makes a mistake in set or dressing - one notable error is the 1960s haircut and rather repulsive and flammable dresses belonging to Richard Eaton's wife. There is none of the farcical, tongue-in-cheek campness that infected British horror of the period.
Directed by Terence Fisher (The Curse of Frankenstein, Dracula) with his usual colourful gothic style, The Devil Rides Out oozes the "good versus evil" duality in his Christian background and, during one scene, even goes so far as to have Mocata equate Satanism with science. The compositions are quite beautiful and the use of colour even more so.
The screenplay by horror legend Richard Matheson (I Am Legend, The Twilight Zone) roars along like Lee's 1927 Bentley barely pausing for breath; there is always something on screen to hold your attention.
Lee plays de Richleau perfectly, perhaps calling on his own aristocratic roots. He is authoritative, commanding and strong, used to people doing his will. What Mocata obtains through mesmerism and cunning, Lee achieves with will and a belief in the social hierarchy present in Britain at the time. A favourite 'Lee' scene of mine is when, towards the beginning of the film, Tanith mentions "Surely we're not meant to be more than 13"; the sharp look that Lee gives her is wonderful!
Charles Gray plays the mesmeric, seductive and quietly menacing Mocata. A villain very much in the mould of Karswell from Tourneur's Night of the Demon but without the childlike petulance. Sort of like a cross between an insurance salesman and Derren Brown.
I know he gets a lot of stick but I think Leon Greene (with Patrick Allen's voice!) is great as de Richleau's friend Rex and the film's resident blundering oaf; forever sticking his foot in his mouth and creating danger wherever he goes. His disbelief in magic is as much to do with stupidity and lack of imagination as it is rationalism.Sure he can be as wooden as a post but I sort of like his blank faced charm. He plays us, the audience, the doubters who need persuading that dark forces really do exist.
Joining Lee and Greene in our triumvirate of heroes is Paul Eddington (The Good Life; Yes Minister) as Richard "Nice but Dim" Eaton the husband of her of the hideous dresses.
A young Patrick Mower (Cry of the Banshee, Callan) is suitably wet-behind-the-ears as the naive Satanist neophyte Simon and is joined by Niké Arrighi as a beautiful and slightly odd and unhinged Tanith. Together they make a great pair of damsels-in-distress, needing constant vigilance to make sure they don't go wondering off back to Mocata or strangling someone in their sleep.
Finally, I must mention a brief appearance by Gwen Ffrangcon Davies as a Countess with the weirdest, most fucked up eyes ever to grace the screen.
While it has its faults (the back-projection during the car scenes is a little ropey and the black baptism orgy could have been a little raunchier), The Devil Rides Out is a master-class in creating a tense horror film from one of Britain's finest genre directors and featuring a top-notch cast. A beautiful restoration of a classic film.
Now, on to the effects enhancements. During the making of The Devil Rides Out the budget given to effects wizard Michael Staiver-Hutchins was cut, ensuring that the majority of the major set-piece effects were unfinished or reduced in scale. Having watched this film well over ten times in the past few decades I can state that I never really cared that much as the atmosphere carried me past all the shonky genies and wobbly observatories. Having said that, I was really impressed with the lightness of touch used in updating the old optical effects. This wasn't a case of George Lucas stomping all over Star Wars in his size 12 "Industrial Light & Magic" boots. These, apart from a replaced lightening strike, are subtle enhancements that complement rather than obscure. Well done Cineimage!
Extras:
I have not listened to the commentary as yet.The "making of" short documentary was extremely interesting and explained how having Black Magic rituals in the film was important as at the time the UK censors regularly cut them from films (i.e. Masque of the Red Death) and the country still had blasphemy laws (and, unbelievably, still do). Also featured is mention of the late 1960s occult revival and an interview with a very old and infirm Richard Matheson. A couple of interesting facts: Patrick Mower, who plays Simon, is 6' tall but looks short because the rest of the male cast were even taller. The horse playing the Angel of Death's mount was wheezy and only had one lung!
The restoration featurette features the daughters of special effects supervisor along with people from the restoration company, Cineimage. As mentioned above, the original effects were relatively poor, even for the time, due to budgetary restraints. I think the restoration/enhancements to the old optical effects were very sympathetically done and this doc explains how they were created. Anyway, his daughters said he'd be happy with the enhancements and that's good enough for me.
The short Dennis Wheatley featurette contains various talking-heads discussing Wheatley's reaction to Hammer's three adaptations.
Finally, for some strange reason the "World of Hammer" extra has something wrong with its audio (at least for me). Oliver Reed's voice-over pretty much disappeared apart from a deep rumble. This makes me think that they'd stuck it on the wrong channel - the subwoofer! In an attempt to fix this I turned off my 5.1 system and just used the TV sound. Oliver Reed was back, although still very, very badly mixed and almost lost against any of the clip soundtracks. I gave up.
"Don't look at the eyes Rex!"
"The Goat of Mendes, the Devil himself!"
"I shall not be back... but something will"
Letterboxd Review
Thursday, 28 January 2016
Weng's Chop: Issue 0 (2012)
I grew up with zines. I remember the old punk zines, I was a Hawkfan and had some of the Hawkwind zines, then the hardcore punk zines - back when I ran a punk distro I even had an advert in some of them. In other words I love them. For some reason though, film zines just passed me by. Sure I read Fangoria, Darkside and even Samhain, but all those handmade, handwritten horror manifestos went straight under my radar. Then I noticed some of my Amazon recommendations were books with names like Cinema Sewer and Weng's Chop and that they had volume and issue numbers! It seems that zines are alive and well in the age of the internet and, as I'd just received a Christmas bonus, I thought I'd check them out and ordered the full back catalogue of both Cinema Sewer and Weng's Chop.
The first issue of Weng's Chop is a wee zine. It's a 52 page, small format book filled with B&W print and illustrations, and comes wrapped in a full colour, perfect bound, soft cover. The zine covers exploitation, horror, adult, gonzo, trash and the weird side of film. For those worried about illegible handwritten text and cut and paste layout, do not fear. Although the print is small it's cleanly layed-out and completely readable. Sure it has the occasional spelling and grammatical error but so fucking what. It's full of the same passion and energy of the zines of yore.
The reviews are informative, funny and not snobby or elitist in the least. The authors really know their stuff and each has their own area of expertise. The frequent cast, crew and film references will give you hours of fun searching on IMDb and Amazon, although your bank balance may regret it.
Weng's Chop is from people that understand grindhouse, exploitation and underground films and get that it's not the end of the world if an acting performance doesn't hit the mark in some low budget indie gore-fest. They get that. That's not to say that it's full of fanboy gushing as they're not afraid to lay into any fuckups, but, as they say, it's all about the context.
The standouts are:
The first issue of Weng's Chop is a wee zine. It's a 52 page, small format book filled with B&W print and illustrations, and comes wrapped in a full colour, perfect bound, soft cover. The zine covers exploitation, horror, adult, gonzo, trash and the weird side of film. For those worried about illegible handwritten text and cut and paste layout, do not fear. Although the print is small it's cleanly layed-out and completely readable. Sure it has the occasional spelling and grammatical error but so fucking what. It's full of the same passion and energy of the zines of yore.
The reviews are informative, funny and not snobby or elitist in the least. The authors really know their stuff and each has their own area of expertise. The frequent cast, crew and film references will give you hours of fun searching on IMDb and Amazon, although your bank balance may regret it.
Weng's Chop is from people that understand grindhouse, exploitation and underground films and get that it's not the end of the world if an acting performance doesn't hit the mark in some low budget indie gore-fest. They get that. That's not to say that it's full of fanboy gushing as they're not afraid to lay into any fuckups, but, as they say, it's all about the context.
The standouts are:
- The editorial - a lovely and funny intro.
- The 'Bohachi Bushido' review - the sheer passion really made me want to see this film.
- The House by the Cemetery (Christian version) - I had no idea this monstrosity existed!
- The article on Indian horror. If I can get past those bloody song and dance numbers I may just have to get some of these.
Labels:
books,
exploitation,
horror,
india,
lucio fulci,
review,
underground,
zine
Monday, 28 December 2015
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
A tale of emancipation and the death of religion.
A near perfect blend of practical and CGI effects, senseless violence and subtext, artiface and reality, the big spectical and the internal dialogue.
The Handmaid's Tale for the 21st century.
Immortan Joe,
V8 be your name.
No water come,
your law will be done,
on the road, as it is in Valhalla.
Give us this day our gasoline,
and forgive our weakness,
as we suck a new blood bag.
And let us not die soft,
but go out with our grills chromed.
Forever and ever mate.
— The Warboy's Prayer
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
— Ephesians 5:22-33
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
— Timothy 2:11-15
"Abandonment of slavery is also the banishment of the chimera of security. The world will not change overnight, and liberation will not happen unless individual women agree to be outcasts, eccentrics, perverts, and whatever the powers-that-be choose to call them."
— Germaine Greer, "The Female Eunuch"
"This view that women are somehow inferior to men is not restricted to one religion or belief. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths. Nor, tragically, does its influence stop at the walls of the church, mosque, synagogue or temple. This discrimination, unjustifiably attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for the deprivation of women's equal rights across the world for centuries. At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.... The truth is that male religious leaders have had -- and still have -- an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter."
— Jimmy Carter, "Losing My Religion for Equality"
"I am one of the Vuvalini! Of the many mothers! My Initiating Mother was K.T. Concannon! I am the daughter of Mary Jabassa. My clan was Swaddle Dog!"
— (no longer) Imperator Furiosa
Letterboxed Review
A near perfect blend of practical and CGI effects, senseless violence and subtext, artiface and reality, the big spectical and the internal dialogue.
The Handmaid's Tale for the 21st century.
Immortan Joe,
V8 be your name.
No water come,
your law will be done,
on the road, as it is in Valhalla.
Give us this day our gasoline,
and forgive our weakness,
as we suck a new blood bag.
And let us not die soft,
but go out with our grills chromed.
Forever and ever mate.
— The Warboy's Prayer
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
— Ephesians 5:22-33
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
— Timothy 2:11-15
"Abandonment of slavery is also the banishment of the chimera of security. The world will not change overnight, and liberation will not happen unless individual women agree to be outcasts, eccentrics, perverts, and whatever the powers-that-be choose to call them."
— Germaine Greer, "The Female Eunuch"
"This view that women are somehow inferior to men is not restricted to one religion or belief. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths. Nor, tragically, does its influence stop at the walls of the church, mosque, synagogue or temple. This discrimination, unjustifiably attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for the deprivation of women's equal rights across the world for centuries. At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.... The truth is that male religious leaders have had -- and still have -- an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter."
— Jimmy Carter, "Losing My Religion for Equality"
"I am one of the Vuvalini! Of the many mothers! My Initiating Mother was K.T. Concannon! I am the daughter of Mary Jabassa. My clan was Swaddle Dog!"
— (no longer) Imperator Furiosa
Letterboxed Review
Sunday, 20 December 2015
Cube (1997) & Cube 2: Hypercube (2002)
Cube (1997)
Seven people trapped inside a large Rubik's Cube discuss religion, chaos theory and nihilism, while dodging devilish traps and personal insecurities.Cube is an existential sci-fi horror film with passable acting, clever set design and some good ideas.
The long dark night of the soul on a budget.
Cube 2: Hypercube (2002)
Ten people trapped inside a large Rubik's Cube discuss bugger all, while dodging cut-price CGI traps and the need to kill an irritating old lady.Cube 2: Hypercube is a terrible sci-fi horror film with some truly horrendous acting, dull set design and no idea what the term quantum really means.
The long dark night of my soul on a larger budget.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
We have Christmas traditions. We buy and decorate the tree on the first weekend before Christmas day, even though most places have already sold out due to people starting their celebrations in November. We put the kids stockings on their bed during Christmas night, after 1am, even though they're aged 22 and 14. The stockings always have an orange, an apple, chocolate money and a pair of socks in them. We eat croissants, fresh coffee and orange juice for breakfast. I pick up our parents and presents are exchanged. I cook a large meal with all the trimmings for the family. We always, as a family, walk the dog after lunch. And every single year we watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
And things would go wrong.
When I was a kid we would cut our own tree and every year it was too tall for the front room. One year we bought a short tree only to cut the ties and have it explode outwards and take up half the front room. There would be arguments over the silliest things. I have sledded, whilst drunk, down a hill and across a road. Of course every year the lights would fail due to a blown bulb or fuse. Every single year something would fuck up, but it didn't matter. Not in the slightest, because Christmas is bigger than all that and that is precisely what National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is all about.
Possibly the most accurate Christmas movie ever made.
And things would go wrong.
When I was a kid we would cut our own tree and every year it was too tall for the front room. One year we bought a short tree only to cut the ties and have it explode outwards and take up half the front room. There would be arguments over the silliest things. I have sledded, whilst drunk, down a hill and across a road. Of course every year the lights would fail due to a blown bulb or fuse. Every single year something would fuck up, but it didn't matter. Not in the slightest, because Christmas is bigger than all that and that is precisely what National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is all about.
Possibly the most accurate Christmas movie ever made.
Merry Christmas everybody! Hallelujah! Holy shit, where's the Tylenol?
Tuesday, 15 December 2015
Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man (1976)
I watched the 88 Films Blu-Ray in Italian with English subtitles.
Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man is great title but will the film live up to it?
Directed by Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust, House on the Edge of the Park), with a screenplay by Fernando Di Leo (Milano Calibro 9, The Boss) and starring Marc Porel (Don't Torture a Duckling, The Psychic) as Fred and Ray Lovelock (Almost Human, The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue) as Tony; a pair of plain clothes police officers who belong to "The Special Squad". They don't care about the rules and if anyone at city hall doesn't like it, they can swivel! Backing them up is their boss Adolfo Celi (Thunderball). How's that for an exploitation pedigree!
There really isn't much of a plot. There's a basic storyline in which our two heroes try to take down the local kingpin who, meanwhile, is trying to discover their identities. That's not really very important as it's all about how they get to that end point. It seems that there's a shoot-out, car/bike chase, punch-up or sex every 10 minutes.
The film starts with Lovelock (in full-on Robert Redford mode) getting a "backy" from Porel on his motorbike to some groovy sounds. They both look so clean cut. It's almost like a younger and more handsome Ratso giving Joe Buck a ride. This is a real pair of handsome fuckers! However, this no ordinary bike ride and the dynamic duo foil a nasty mugging and take off after the scumbags and into what is probably the best vehicle chase scene in Italian cinema history; impressively chaotic and destructive. No cardboard boxes or sheets of glass were harmed although a poor guide dog doesn't fair too well.
From here on in the film is a wild storm of sex and guns.
Often compared to Dirty Harry, to me Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man is more like those boy's own, buddy cop movies and shows from the 1970s: Starsky & Hutch, The Professionals, The Sweeney, and the freeze-frame ending was straight out of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I've also read about the homoerotic subtext, but I believe that the two leads are more like two little boys who just never grew up. The women in the film treat them as boys and not men. The city is their playground where they play "war" against another gang of boys (note the target practice scene in the quarry at 01:12:00). When you think about it, most of these type of films follow the same pattern of men as boys and I don't think that there's anything particularly wrong with that at all. Fred and Tony may be sociopathic boys, but boys nonetheless.
Yes, there's a fair amount of chauvinism but this is tempered quite brilliantly by the attitudes of the women. During one scene they ask their boss's secretary with which of them she'd like to sleep; she replies with an unexpectedly brilliant comeback. A little while later there's a scene where both Tony and Fred are screwing a suspect's sister, the woman is dominant throughout and exhausts the men. Finally, their libido's nearly gets them killed. Most progressive and un-Italian!
The performances are terrific with a real chemistry showing between the two leads. There's a cool and funky soundtrack that's all full of horns, Rhodes keyboard and loads of groove. The film is immaculately shot with really impressive camera-work during the action scenes and some excellent gore effects with loads of Humbrol red blood. The dialogue has a natural touch and doesn't sound at all forced. It's also nicely witty in places.
The 88 Films Blu-Ray has an excellent picture and sound. The subs are pretty good and seem to follow the dialogue with only the occasional spelling or grammatical error. The only extras are a trailer and some stills, but both English and Italian soundtracks are included.
Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man has high octane thrills, handsome fuckers with guns, bike chases and explosions. It's loud, crude, funny and energetic. One of the finest buddy/cop movies ever made.
Letterboxd Review
Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man is great title but will the film live up to it?
Directed by Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust, House on the Edge of the Park), with a screenplay by Fernando Di Leo (Milano Calibro 9, The Boss) and starring Marc Porel (Don't Torture a Duckling, The Psychic) as Fred and Ray Lovelock (Almost Human, The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue) as Tony; a pair of plain clothes police officers who belong to "The Special Squad". They don't care about the rules and if anyone at city hall doesn't like it, they can swivel! Backing them up is their boss Adolfo Celi (Thunderball). How's that for an exploitation pedigree!
There really isn't much of a plot. There's a basic storyline in which our two heroes try to take down the local kingpin who, meanwhile, is trying to discover their identities. That's not really very important as it's all about how they get to that end point. It seems that there's a shoot-out, car/bike chase, punch-up or sex every 10 minutes.
The film starts with Lovelock (in full-on Robert Redford mode) getting a "backy" from Porel on his motorbike to some groovy sounds. They both look so clean cut. It's almost like a younger and more handsome Ratso giving Joe Buck a ride. This is a real pair of handsome fuckers! However, this no ordinary bike ride and the dynamic duo foil a nasty mugging and take off after the scumbags and into what is probably the best vehicle chase scene in Italian cinema history; impressively chaotic and destructive. No cardboard boxes or sheets of glass were harmed although a poor guide dog doesn't fair too well.
From here on in the film is a wild storm of sex and guns.
Often compared to Dirty Harry, to me Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man is more like those boy's own, buddy cop movies and shows from the 1970s: Starsky & Hutch, The Professionals, The Sweeney, and the freeze-frame ending was straight out of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I've also read about the homoerotic subtext, but I believe that the two leads are more like two little boys who just never grew up. The women in the film treat them as boys and not men. The city is their playground where they play "war" against another gang of boys (note the target practice scene in the quarry at 01:12:00). When you think about it, most of these type of films follow the same pattern of men as boys and I don't think that there's anything particularly wrong with that at all. Fred and Tony may be sociopathic boys, but boys nonetheless.
Yes, there's a fair amount of chauvinism but this is tempered quite brilliantly by the attitudes of the women. During one scene they ask their boss's secretary with which of them she'd like to sleep; she replies with an unexpectedly brilliant comeback. A little while later there's a scene where both Tony and Fred are screwing a suspect's sister, the woman is dominant throughout and exhausts the men. Finally, their libido's nearly gets them killed. Most progressive and un-Italian!
The performances are terrific with a real chemistry showing between the two leads. There's a cool and funky soundtrack that's all full of horns, Rhodes keyboard and loads of groove. The film is immaculately shot with really impressive camera-work during the action scenes and some excellent gore effects with loads of Humbrol red blood. The dialogue has a natural touch and doesn't sound at all forced. It's also nicely witty in places.
The 88 Films Blu-Ray has an excellent picture and sound. The subs are pretty good and seem to follow the dialogue with only the occasional spelling or grammatical error. The only extras are a trailer and some stills, but both English and Italian soundtracks are included.
Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man has high octane thrills, handsome fuckers with guns, bike chases and explosions. It's loud, crude, funny and energetic. One of the finest buddy/cop movies ever made.
Letterboxd Review
Sunday, 13 December 2015
Don't Torture a Duckling (1972)
Young boys are being murdered in a beautiful Italian town and it's up the local carabinieri and a reporter to discover the rotten truth that lurks beneath its idyllic surface.
Don't Torture a Duckling stars the beautiful Florinda Balkan, previously seen in Fulci's Lizard in a Woman's Skin, the equally stunning Barbara Bouchet (The Red Queen Kills Seven Times), and Tomas Milian from Umberto Lenzi's violent poliziotteschi, Almost Human.
The film starts as it means to go on with a spooky opening scene of Bolkan's character, Maciara (an alleged local witch) digging up the skeleton of a young child in the hills outside a medieval Italian town. It's here that Fulci starts several juxtapositions running throughout the film, with the old stone buildings of the town and the new motorway overpasses that lead to it.
Fulci doesn't hang around and the suspects are introduced almost immediately; as well as Maciara there is Barra, a local peeping tom and Bouchet's character Patrizia, a rich young thing who loves to flirt with young boys.
The police are not totally ineffectual for once, although they are very quick to jump to conclusions and seem intent on solving the murders as quickly as possible no matter who gets hurt on the way. Running parallel to their investigations are the enquiries made by Martelli, a newspaper reporter played by Milian. Both methods run counter-productive to each other with the police leaping from suspect to suspect using overwhelming force, supposition and aggression, thus causing tension and breeding suspicion in the town. Whilst the quiet detective work of Martelli at first seems more effective it also has its problems; the most obvious being his rearranging of a crime scene to create a better photo for his newspaper.
The tone of the film is not unlike the rural horror films of the sixties. Duckling is shot through with the old: the crumbling town, witchcraft, the medieval trappings of Catholicism, dark churches, skeletal statues, ritual and litany intersecting with the new: the motorway overpasses, radio soap operas, the modernity of Patrizia's house and lifestyle. Juxtaposition and duality abound: rich/poor, old/new, tradition/modernity, outward appearances/inward morality, Christianity/Paganism, logic/superstition, innocence/sexuality, tolerance/persecution, light Patrizia/dark Maciara.
Very nicely shot and filled with close-ups and medium shots which, as well as giving the film an air of claustrophobia also does a great job of internalising the collective grief of the town. Some of the fast edits are excellent, with the same character moving from one location and time to another without any jarring at all.
There are several shocking moments, unusually involving the discovery of dead children and there are some very good, infrequent gore scenes of the type that Fulci is justly famous for. The scene where Maciara is attacked is extremely well done and very similar to the violent chain whipping from his later film, The Beyond. Also, the duck motif (obviously in the name but also as a child's toy in the third act) pops up again in Fulci's later exploitation classic The New York Ripper. Overall, for once Fulci is extremely restrained and forgoes his usual exploitative touches.
The film features an atmospheric soundtrack by the prolific Riz Ortolani (Seven Blood-Stained Orchids, Seven Deaths in the Cat's Eye, Cannibal Holocaust) although I wasn't too sure about the rock and pop tracks used during the persecution of Balkan's character. It does fit with the theme of duality but it is more than a little jarring.
The children are great and full of devil-may-care attitude, daring do, cigarettes, catapults, grazed knees and add a real air of realism to the film. Balkan is all wild hair and wide staring eyes - she really does look like she stepped out of Witchfinder General. Milian is very good as the dogged reporter but is a little underused in the first two acts. Really though the film belongs to the women and children.
The picture is okay but a little blurry or dark in places but really deserves a proper Blu-Ray release. Watch it as a double bill with The House with Laughing Windows or Who Saw Her Die.
Don't Torture a Duckling deserves its reputation as a gialli classic.
Letterboxd Review
Saturday, 12 December 2015
Return of the Living Dead (1985)
A rewatch with the kids.
Burt, Ernie and the rabid weasels bring on the zombie love yet again!
Original review
Burt, Ernie and the rabid weasels bring on the zombie love yet again!
B U R T I S A S L A V E D R I V E R A N D A C H E A P S O N O F A B I T C H W H O S G O I N G B A L D T O O H A H A
Original review
Friday, 11 December 2015
Who Saw Her Die? (1972)
This is the Shameless DVD that I'm watching. Apparently this release is very slightly longer than the Blue Underground DVD. Both are have a dubbed English soundtrack.
I'm a big fan of the social commentary lurking behind Aldo Lado's 1975 rape revenge flick, Night Train Murders (L'ultimo treno della notte) and his 1971 gialli Short Night of Glass Dolls (La corta notte delle bambole di vetro), and I'm hoping that Who Saw Her Die? will similarly deliver the goods.
Made a year before Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now, Lado's Who Saw Her Die? shares similar themes of grief and guilt. Even the famous sex scene is here, admittedly in an abbreviated form but it still shows the outpouring of grief through sex.
In France, a young girl is viciously murdered whilst sledding by a mysterious black clothed killer. We are immediately asked the question "Who Saw Her Die?" in thick red lettering seen through the killer's black veil. It is simultaneously an open invitation for the viewer to solve the crime and also an indictment of our passivity as bystanders. Is it our fault that she died? Easily the best and most intriguing title sequence I've seen in a gialli.
The action then shifts to Venice and sculptor Franco (played by George Lazenby, who only two films earlier was on top of the world playing James Bond) and his young daughter Roberta. The wife/mother is absent and we learn that the couple have drifted apart. Instead of rushing headlong into the killings, Lado takes his time and introduces us to the film's characters. We lean about them, their backgrounds, motivations, relationships. We start to care about them.
From this point on the suspects and red herrings are laid on thick and fast. Is the killer the man who was scarred in a fencing accident, the friend who takes a little too much interest in the young Roberta? The decadent art dealer? Someone else entirely? The tension is then really cranked up with multiple failed attempts to kill Roberta until finally the inevitable happens. The killer strikes again.
From here on we follow Franco on a frantic hunt through labyrinthine alleys as Venice shifts from being beautiful and filled with laughter to a dark place that is twisted, confusing and frustrating. Meanwhile the killer shifts their attention from children to anyone who may have seen Roberta die.
The last 20 minutes of the film will have you on the edge of your seat as suspect after suspect is dealt with, until the final shocking reveal.
There is great cinematography from Franco Di Giacomo (Il Postino) and Ennio Morricone's soundtrack of children singing is evocative and fits both the film and its themes well. Lazenby is terrific as the grieving father and his performance far surpasses that of his 007. Nicoletta Elmi, who plays his daughter, is a little star who obviously had great chemistry with Lazenby and later appeared in both Dario Argento's Deep Red and Lamberto Bava's Demons.
As for the social commentary: it does seem that Lado, yet again, has it in for the bourgeoisie. It may not be as overt as in Night Train Murders but it's there nonetheless. The victims are daughters of upper middle class families (the first has a nanny, the second's father is a sculptor). Venice itself being an affluent and bohemian location. Conversations about art, money, travel are heard throughout the film. Even something as simple as the white clothes that the father and his friends wear display social position - no poor person could afford to wear something that could get dirty so easily. Also many of the main characters are portrayed as morally bankrupt and corrupt; of course there's one thing more corrupt to a socialist than the bourgeoisie but I don't want to give the game away. Finally there's also a strong hint of the type of conspiracy found in Lado's Short Night of Glass Dolls.
Who Saw Her Die is, like Short Night of Glass Dolls, not too bloody but what blood there is is of that bright red Italian stuff that looks like Humbrol enamel paint, and either you love it or hate it. I love it.
The quality of the Shameless DVD was very good with a sharp and colourful print (apart from what seems to be the occasional splicing fuckup), and a soundtrack that doesn't overpower the clear dialogue. In fact the dialogue is far better than the usual badly translated dubbing we get with Italian films.
I may be biased due to my Lado love but I really enjoyed this film and think it has a lot to offer. A top notch gialli!
Letterboxd Review
I'm a big fan of the social commentary lurking behind Aldo Lado's 1975 rape revenge flick, Night Train Murders (L'ultimo treno della notte) and his 1971 gialli Short Night of Glass Dolls (La corta notte delle bambole di vetro), and I'm hoping that Who Saw Her Die? will similarly deliver the goods.
Made a year before Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now, Lado's Who Saw Her Die? shares similar themes of grief and guilt. Even the famous sex scene is here, admittedly in an abbreviated form but it still shows the outpouring of grief through sex.
In France, a young girl is viciously murdered whilst sledding by a mysterious black clothed killer. We are immediately asked the question "Who Saw Her Die?" in thick red lettering seen through the killer's black veil. It is simultaneously an open invitation for the viewer to solve the crime and also an indictment of our passivity as bystanders. Is it our fault that she died? Easily the best and most intriguing title sequence I've seen in a gialli.
The action then shifts to Venice and sculptor Franco (played by George Lazenby, who only two films earlier was on top of the world playing James Bond) and his young daughter Roberta. The wife/mother is absent and we learn that the couple have drifted apart. Instead of rushing headlong into the killings, Lado takes his time and introduces us to the film's characters. We lean about them, their backgrounds, motivations, relationships. We start to care about them.
From this point on the suspects and red herrings are laid on thick and fast. Is the killer the man who was scarred in a fencing accident, the friend who takes a little too much interest in the young Roberta? The decadent art dealer? Someone else entirely? The tension is then really cranked up with multiple failed attempts to kill Roberta until finally the inevitable happens. The killer strikes again.
From here on we follow Franco on a frantic hunt through labyrinthine alleys as Venice shifts from being beautiful and filled with laughter to a dark place that is twisted, confusing and frustrating. Meanwhile the killer shifts their attention from children to anyone who may have seen Roberta die.
The last 20 minutes of the film will have you on the edge of your seat as suspect after suspect is dealt with, until the final shocking reveal.
There is great cinematography from Franco Di Giacomo (Il Postino) and Ennio Morricone's soundtrack of children singing is evocative and fits both the film and its themes well. Lazenby is terrific as the grieving father and his performance far surpasses that of his 007. Nicoletta Elmi, who plays his daughter, is a little star who obviously had great chemistry with Lazenby and later appeared in both Dario Argento's Deep Red and Lamberto Bava's Demons.
As for the social commentary: it does seem that Lado, yet again, has it in for the bourgeoisie. It may not be as overt as in Night Train Murders but it's there nonetheless. The victims are daughters of upper middle class families (the first has a nanny, the second's father is a sculptor). Venice itself being an affluent and bohemian location. Conversations about art, money, travel are heard throughout the film. Even something as simple as the white clothes that the father and his friends wear display social position - no poor person could afford to wear something that could get dirty so easily. Also many of the main characters are portrayed as morally bankrupt and corrupt; of course there's one thing more corrupt to a socialist than the bourgeoisie but I don't want to give the game away. Finally there's also a strong hint of the type of conspiracy found in Lado's Short Night of Glass Dolls.
Who Saw Her Die is, like Short Night of Glass Dolls, not too bloody but what blood there is is of that bright red Italian stuff that looks like Humbrol enamel paint, and either you love it or hate it. I love it.
The quality of the Shameless DVD was very good with a sharp and colourful print (apart from what seems to be the occasional splicing fuckup), and a soundtrack that doesn't overpower the clear dialogue. In fact the dialogue is far better than the usual badly translated dubbing we get with Italian films.
I may be biased due to my Lado love but I really enjoyed this film and think it has a lot to offer. A top notch gialli!
Letterboxd Review
Thursday, 10 December 2015
Dark Power (1985)
The film starts with a young boy, aged about ten, walking through the woods with his toy bow and sucker-tipped arrows being chased by a pack of dogs. What! A boy aged ten in the 1980s should have made his own bow and nail tipped arrows and also had a belt full of pipe bombs! To be honest the dogs look more cuddly than vicious and I'd have been more afraid of being licked to death than mauled. Anyway, the snivelling and ill equipped boy is saved from his canine fate by an old beardy boy scout with a bull whip... Ladies and gentlemen I give you Lash Larue. Get used to the whip because he sure likes to use it! It was like party time at Madam Cyn's house during Parliament recess!
So the story is that an old man who kept some Toltec evil buried under his house dies and it's up to Lash Larue to put that genie back in the proverbial bottle. Unfortunately the house is soon let to four nubile young women and a creepy, racist brother. After that we just have to wait for the rather ridiculous killing to start.
The first half of the film almost like a show-reel for Lash Larue and that damned whip of his. Enough with the fucking whip! Plus his wise old man shtick gets a little tiring after a while.
There's a fair amount of "everyday racism" and a few n-bombs and I was hoping that the perpetrators were to be quickly dispatched as punishment. No, it took far too long. In fact it took way too long for any of them to die. Every one of these little bastards seemed to have stepped straight out of a shitty Porkies rip-off. At one point one of them flosses her teeth! Why do that on camera? Why not have a shit as well? Please stop it!
The four Toltec zombies are terrible with some of the worst masks and outfits I've seen in a horror film. Their bows seem to have strings made from underwear elastic, most of the killing scenes are pretty disappointing, and the comedic zombie routines were utterly misplaced. And that fucking xylophone that played when ever they were on screen drove me nuts! Plus that house must have the best sound insulation ever to stop the girls inside from hearing the zombie shenanigans going on outside.
Then, at long last Lash Larue and that fucking whip turns up to save the day. What do we get? Fucking "cavalry charge" music! That's right, a bearded white man turns up to save the poor women from the Native Americans with a trumpeted charge and a whip! Oh dear. A little while later, during a very, very, very dull bull-whip duel, he even calls one of the zombies "boy". As far as saving the day goes I don't think you could get any more racist unless there were a few burning crosses on the lawn.
Dark Power's biggest problem though is that its nearly 50 minutes until you see any blood! Simply inexcusable!
Unfortunately the picture on my Dead of Night DVD was bright and clear with reasonably clean audio, although the soundtrack does tend to drown out the dialogue a little.
Rubbish. Do yourself a favour and pass this one by. Anyone want to buy a DVD?
Letterboxd Review
So the story is that an old man who kept some Toltec evil buried under his house dies and it's up to Lash Larue to put that genie back in the proverbial bottle. Unfortunately the house is soon let to four nubile young women and a creepy, racist brother. After that we just have to wait for the rather ridiculous killing to start.
The first half of the film almost like a show-reel for Lash Larue and that damned whip of his. Enough with the fucking whip! Plus his wise old man shtick gets a little tiring after a while.
There's a fair amount of "everyday racism" and a few n-bombs and I was hoping that the perpetrators were to be quickly dispatched as punishment. No, it took far too long. In fact it took way too long for any of them to die. Every one of these little bastards seemed to have stepped straight out of a shitty Porkies rip-off. At one point one of them flosses her teeth! Why do that on camera? Why not have a shit as well? Please stop it!
The four Toltec zombies are terrible with some of the worst masks and outfits I've seen in a horror film. Their bows seem to have strings made from underwear elastic, most of the killing scenes are pretty disappointing, and the comedic zombie routines were utterly misplaced. And that fucking xylophone that played when ever they were on screen drove me nuts! Plus that house must have the best sound insulation ever to stop the girls inside from hearing the zombie shenanigans going on outside.
Then, at long last Lash Larue and that fucking whip turns up to save the day. What do we get? Fucking "cavalry charge" music! That's right, a bearded white man turns up to save the poor women from the Native Americans with a trumpeted charge and a whip! Oh dear. A little while later, during a very, very, very dull bull-whip duel, he even calls one of the zombies "boy". As far as saving the day goes I don't think you could get any more racist unless there were a few burning crosses on the lawn.
Dark Power's biggest problem though is that its nearly 50 minutes until you see any blood! Simply inexcusable!
Unfortunately the picture on my Dead of Night DVD was bright and clear with reasonably clean audio, although the soundtrack does tend to drown out the dialogue a little.
Rubbish. Do yourself a favour and pass this one by. Anyone want to buy a DVD?
Letterboxd Review
Freak (1999)
From the deepest darkest recesses of my DVD collection comes Freak, a film, apparently so obscure that only two people on Letterboxd have watched it.
Reading the synopsis on the back of the case:
"It was twenty-five years ago that the horror began; a hideously deformed, physically deformed and brutalised 9-year-old boy murders his tyrannical and abusing mother. Now the horror is about to start all over again..."
This all sound very familiar! Come on, how bad can it be?
The film starts, as in the description, with a young boy being treated like shit by his mother. The mother is suitably nasty and after giving birth to another child tosses it in a brazier to burn. This seems to be what tips her son over the edge and he brutally kills her by bashing in her head with a large rock. Off to the loony bin with you young man! Nine years later (not the 25 reported on the DVD case) he escapes whilst in transport and heads home and straight into the path of a young woman and her kid sister.
Freak is a pretty atmospheric film, with subtle Dutch angles, low shots of the boy's spooky house, shadows and a good soundtrack. Much like Halloween (an obvious influence), Freak is definitely all about atmosphere and tension, although the aforementioned mother killing scene is nicely gruesome.
There are a few silly plot-holes - like why would someone have a shotgun and shells rolling around in the back of an open pickup, and why didn't the killer take it with him? Also, just like in Halloween, the killer mysteriously knows how to drive a truck even though he's been locked up for the past nine years! There is also some unnecessary exposition from a psychiatrist's tape recording. The previous scenes covered most of it quite well enough and I felt it wasn't really needed.
At one point there's a very, very brief shot (less than a second) inserted into a scene of the protagonist being chained up in a van. I assumed this was an editing fuck-up but after watching in slo-mo I discovered that the insert was of the child being chained by his mother. A nice touch, just a shame they didn't make it a little more obvious by increasing the length of the edit by a second or two. These brief flashbacks are a frequent occurrence throughout the film (luckily they are a little longer) and work very well in tying the killer's mental state to the abuse he suffered as a child.
The performances range from quite good to adequate and Amy Paliganoff plays a great Laurie Strode like, proactive, female lead, but the real star is Spider the ferret! I have a real soft spot for ferrets and their floppy ways. The killer is played by the film's director, Tyler Tharpe.
Freak is a nicely atmospheric and effective low budget slasher heavily influenced by Halloween and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre while still retaining its own distinct feel. It's only 75 minutes long and occasionally it does drag a little in places. It could have done with a little more plot substance and a little more tension during the long driving sequences. Some parts are a little out of focus and fuzzy, some are over-saturated and some are very dark. I guess most of these we caused by a limited lens and film choice (I got the feeling that it was shot on various film stocks). The sound is pretty muffled in places and has some occasional unwanted background noise due, I guess, to badly placed mikes.
Not bad at all and it's available on Amazon for £0.01!
Letterboxd Review
Reading the synopsis on the back of the case:
"It was twenty-five years ago that the horror began; a hideously deformed, physically deformed and brutalised 9-year-old boy murders his tyrannical and abusing mother. Now the horror is about to start all over again..."
This all sound very familiar! Come on, how bad can it be?
The film starts, as in the description, with a young boy being treated like shit by his mother. The mother is suitably nasty and after giving birth to another child tosses it in a brazier to burn. This seems to be what tips her son over the edge and he brutally kills her by bashing in her head with a large rock. Off to the loony bin with you young man! Nine years later (not the 25 reported on the DVD case) he escapes whilst in transport and heads home and straight into the path of a young woman and her kid sister.
Freak is a pretty atmospheric film, with subtle Dutch angles, low shots of the boy's spooky house, shadows and a good soundtrack. Much like Halloween (an obvious influence), Freak is definitely all about atmosphere and tension, although the aforementioned mother killing scene is nicely gruesome.
There are a few silly plot-holes - like why would someone have a shotgun and shells rolling around in the back of an open pickup, and why didn't the killer take it with him? Also, just like in Halloween, the killer mysteriously knows how to drive a truck even though he's been locked up for the past nine years! There is also some unnecessary exposition from a psychiatrist's tape recording. The previous scenes covered most of it quite well enough and I felt it wasn't really needed.
At one point there's a very, very brief shot (less than a second) inserted into a scene of the protagonist being chained up in a van. I assumed this was an editing fuck-up but after watching in slo-mo I discovered that the insert was of the child being chained by his mother. A nice touch, just a shame they didn't make it a little more obvious by increasing the length of the edit by a second or two. These brief flashbacks are a frequent occurrence throughout the film (luckily they are a little longer) and work very well in tying the killer's mental state to the abuse he suffered as a child.
The performances range from quite good to adequate and Amy Paliganoff plays a great Laurie Strode like, proactive, female lead, but the real star is Spider the ferret! I have a real soft spot for ferrets and their floppy ways. The killer is played by the film's director, Tyler Tharpe.
Freak is a nicely atmospheric and effective low budget slasher heavily influenced by Halloween and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre while still retaining its own distinct feel. It's only 75 minutes long and occasionally it does drag a little in places. It could have done with a little more plot substance and a little more tension during the long driving sequences. Some parts are a little out of focus and fuzzy, some are over-saturated and some are very dark. I guess most of these we caused by a limited lens and film choice (I got the feeling that it was shot on various film stocks). The sound is pretty muffled in places and has some occasional unwanted background noise due, I guess, to badly placed mikes.
Not bad at all and it's available on Amazon for £0.01!
Letterboxd Review
Monday, 7 December 2015
Black Belt Jones 2 (1978)
A giant diamond has been stolen and it's up to ex-CIA agent Lucas to get it back. Fists, legs and boobs abound!
Black Belt Jones 2 stars Jim "Enter the Dragon" Kelly and Tao-Liang "Flash Legs" Tan and is directed by Tso Nam Lee who also gave us the Brucesploitation classics Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger and Fist of Fury 2. This cheap flick combines a little Blaxploitation, martial arts and a basic crime thriller plot in one cheesy package. Note, however, that it has nothing at all to do with the original, Robert Clouse directed, Black Belt Jones.
My DVD came from Moonstone and seems to be transferred from a dirty film source in a pillar-boxed 4:3 ratio. The dialogue is pretty badly dubbed and it also has those wonderful "THWACK" sounding contact noises. Just the way I like 'em!
The film and the action starts immediately... I mean straight away, like the film had already been running for 10 minutes and I'd somehow missed it. No trailers, no menu, just...
Gang leader: "What do you want?"
Tin-hao: "Is that one-eyed bastard here?"
Gang leader: Who the hell are you? You dare call our boss that?
Tin-hao: You bums obviously don't know me!
Gang leader: Oh I know you! You're one of Lu's men, the one they say can kick like a mule.
Tin-hao: Well, if you know who I am, then that's the best that can come out!
Gang leader: Watch out, you're on our turf now.
Tin-hao: I couldn't give a shit who this area belongs to. Where I am always belongs to me.
Gang leader: Well then, maybe I want to find out if that's the truth? Hippy!
To be honest I wasn't sure about the "Hippy" as that part of the dialogue was a little garbled but I like the idea of someone calling a Saturday Night Fever dressed Tao-Liang Tan Hippy.
Jim Kelly's acting ability hasn't improved since Enter the Dragon and in fact it seems to have somehow gotten worse (this could possibly be due to having to dub his own voice). Then again, who gives a fuck? He's tall, black, cool and cocky as fuck, even though he does look like a tennis pro on occasion. His karate based fighting is pretty good and in the later scenes really quite impressive, but it plays second-fiddle to Tao-Liang Tan's explosive legs and ultimately it's the Asian actors who shine in this film.
Korean born Tao-Liang Tan is great as Tin-hao, your typical gangster with a sense of honour. His fighting is excellent with some terrific leg work. Interesting fact: Tan taught Bruce Lee's daughter, Shannon.
Chan Sing plays Lu the gang boss and has an impressive presence and a great moustache. I'd say he's the best actor of the lot.
Hong-Kong favourite Bolo Yeung even pops in for a few scraps and an argument with a ship's chef over some pet rabbits. The highlight however is when Yeung taunts Tin-hao with some atrocious singing!
The plot of Black Belt Jones 2 is simple enough with a few plot twists to keep thing interesting - just enough to hang 90 minutes of kung fu action onto.
The soundtrack is flute led funk with lot's of groovy percussion. There's also a couple of Suzi Quatro tracks in a strip-club scene!
The final fight scenes are really very good, with some great choreography; they're athletic, fluid, well filmed and they use the environment and props well, with Tao-Liang Tan versus Chan Sing being the stand out of the whole film, although Kelly's big fight proves he was no slouch either. Sure there's the usual problem of punches and kicks not connecting enough but overall I was really impressed!
Black Belt Jones 2 is nicely paced, has competent camera-work and editing, some ropey dialogue, strippers, boobs, a few hairy bushes, great action scenes, tattoos that appear and disappear at random, an hilarious chess analogy, a Crank 2 style drug fuelled striptease, and a bizarre rape scene with Formula One stills inserted into it.
Don't expect a restored Asian classic with 5.1 sound and lots of extras (scene selection is all you get with the Moonstone release). This is a pretty good action film with little slack that'll keep you entertained for its 90 minute runtime. Far better than I thought it would be.
Recommended!
"Your Chinese legs aren't bad"
"Why, thank you. How does defeat taste?"
Letterboxd Review
Black Belt Jones 2 stars Jim "Enter the Dragon" Kelly and Tao-Liang "Flash Legs" Tan and is directed by Tso Nam Lee who also gave us the Brucesploitation classics Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger and Fist of Fury 2. This cheap flick combines a little Blaxploitation, martial arts and a basic crime thriller plot in one cheesy package. Note, however, that it has nothing at all to do with the original, Robert Clouse directed, Black Belt Jones.
My DVD came from Moonstone and seems to be transferred from a dirty film source in a pillar-boxed 4:3 ratio. The dialogue is pretty badly dubbed and it also has those wonderful "THWACK" sounding contact noises. Just the way I like 'em!
The film and the action starts immediately... I mean straight away, like the film had already been running for 10 minutes and I'd somehow missed it. No trailers, no menu, just...
Gang leader: "What do you want?"
Tin-hao: "Is that one-eyed bastard here?"
Gang leader: Who the hell are you? You dare call our boss that?
Tin-hao: You bums obviously don't know me!
Gang leader: Oh I know you! You're one of Lu's men, the one they say can kick like a mule.
Tin-hao: Well, if you know who I am, then that's the best that can come out!
Gang leader: Watch out, you're on our turf now.
Tin-hao: I couldn't give a shit who this area belongs to. Where I am always belongs to me.
Gang leader: Well then, maybe I want to find out if that's the truth? Hippy!
To be honest I wasn't sure about the "Hippy" as that part of the dialogue was a little garbled but I like the idea of someone calling a Saturday Night Fever dressed Tao-Liang Tan Hippy.
Jim Kelly's acting ability hasn't improved since Enter the Dragon and in fact it seems to have somehow gotten worse (this could possibly be due to having to dub his own voice). Then again, who gives a fuck? He's tall, black, cool and cocky as fuck, even though he does look like a tennis pro on occasion. His karate based fighting is pretty good and in the later scenes really quite impressive, but it plays second-fiddle to Tao-Liang Tan's explosive legs and ultimately it's the Asian actors who shine in this film.
Korean born Tao-Liang Tan is great as Tin-hao, your typical gangster with a sense of honour. His fighting is excellent with some terrific leg work. Interesting fact: Tan taught Bruce Lee's daughter, Shannon.
Chan Sing plays Lu the gang boss and has an impressive presence and a great moustache. I'd say he's the best actor of the lot.
Hong-Kong favourite Bolo Yeung even pops in for a few scraps and an argument with a ship's chef over some pet rabbits. The highlight however is when Yeung taunts Tin-hao with some atrocious singing!
The plot of Black Belt Jones 2 is simple enough with a few plot twists to keep thing interesting - just enough to hang 90 minutes of kung fu action onto.
The soundtrack is flute led funk with lot's of groovy percussion. There's also a couple of Suzi Quatro tracks in a strip-club scene!
The final fight scenes are really very good, with some great choreography; they're athletic, fluid, well filmed and they use the environment and props well, with Tao-Liang Tan versus Chan Sing being the stand out of the whole film, although Kelly's big fight proves he was no slouch either. Sure there's the usual problem of punches and kicks not connecting enough but overall I was really impressed!
Black Belt Jones 2 is nicely paced, has competent camera-work and editing, some ropey dialogue, strippers, boobs, a few hairy bushes, great action scenes, tattoos that appear and disappear at random, an hilarious chess analogy, a Crank 2 style drug fuelled striptease, and a bizarre rape scene with Formula One stills inserted into it.
Don't expect a restored Asian classic with 5.1 sound and lots of extras (scene selection is all you get with the Moonstone release). This is a pretty good action film with little slack that'll keep you entertained for its 90 minute runtime. Far better than I thought it would be.
Recommended!
"Your Chinese legs aren't bad"
"Why, thank you. How does defeat taste?"
Letterboxd Review
Sunday, 29 November 2015
127 Hours (2010)
I've had this Blu-Ray since it came out and still hadn't watched it, even though it features climbing and I'm a bit of a climber. Time to put that right.
An ill equipped man trapped by his own stupidity, looses his arm in a beautifully shot canyon.
James Franco plays Aron Ralston, a Sisyphus like "Xtreme" sports man-child driven by his own arrogance to spend a week pushing at a boulder. Therein lies the problem for me; I really dislike that particular portrayal of climbing and the outdoors life. Self-absorbed, baggy clothes wearing, techno-listening, photo-opportunists taking stupid risks just to grab a sponsorship deal and look cool.
I got that the film was using his near death experience show Ralston what a shallow and lonely person he had been and that he needed to change to survive. This could very well be the reason that he stupidly told no one of his trek - he had no one to tell, and for this I feel truly sorry for the man. I sincerely hoped that he took this experience and became a more humble and grounded person... but no, the first thing he does when free is to take a fucking selfie! Then onward to the speaking tours, publishing deals and, of course, this film. In fact the most telling sequence in the film is of Ralston pretending/hallucinating being on a talk-show as the special guest.
Enough of my moaning, how was the film itself? I found the photography, while beautiful, was a little too kinetic and hyperactive for me. Split-screen, dropped frames, sped-up film. This is everything I want to leave behind when climbing (although really, this is more scrambling than climbing). Give me focus and peace any day.
James Franco's performance is great, flawless really. It's just that I don't like the person he's playing.
The plot? Like all films that rely on an impressive set-piece at the end, it must have enough substance during the journey to keep you interested. Personally, I don't think 127 Hours had that - a few flashbacks doesn't make a story. I was either bored or irritated for the majority of the film.
One shot that really did annoy me for it's cheapness was of Ralston preparing for his trek and searching on a high shelf for his Swiss Army knife. His hand flaps to either side trying to find the elusive knife before he gives up and decides to go without it.
As for the soundtrack. Playing Lovely Day over Ralston struggling against his bolder does not make you clever. It's the sort of simplistic cinematic shorthand that I hate.
What should have been an interesting film about the dichotomy between temporary pain and long term survival ended up with me wanting him to cut his throat and not his arm.
So, what did we learn? If you're going trekking, climbing, skiing, diving, hunting or whatever; tell someone where you are going and when you'll be back and just remember kids: perfect planning prevents piss poor performance.
Style over substance and my least favourite Danny Boyle film.
Letterboxd Review
An ill equipped man trapped by his own stupidity, looses his arm in a beautifully shot canyon.
James Franco plays Aron Ralston, a Sisyphus like "Xtreme" sports man-child driven by his own arrogance to spend a week pushing at a boulder. Therein lies the problem for me; I really dislike that particular portrayal of climbing and the outdoors life. Self-absorbed, baggy clothes wearing, techno-listening, photo-opportunists taking stupid risks just to grab a sponsorship deal and look cool.
I got that the film was using his near death experience show Ralston what a shallow and lonely person he had been and that he needed to change to survive. This could very well be the reason that he stupidly told no one of his trek - he had no one to tell, and for this I feel truly sorry for the man. I sincerely hoped that he took this experience and became a more humble and grounded person... but no, the first thing he does when free is to take a fucking selfie! Then onward to the speaking tours, publishing deals and, of course, this film. In fact the most telling sequence in the film is of Ralston pretending/hallucinating being on a talk-show as the special guest.
Enough of my moaning, how was the film itself? I found the photography, while beautiful, was a little too kinetic and hyperactive for me. Split-screen, dropped frames, sped-up film. This is everything I want to leave behind when climbing (although really, this is more scrambling than climbing). Give me focus and peace any day.
James Franco's performance is great, flawless really. It's just that I don't like the person he's playing.
The plot? Like all films that rely on an impressive set-piece at the end, it must have enough substance during the journey to keep you interested. Personally, I don't think 127 Hours had that - a few flashbacks doesn't make a story. I was either bored or irritated for the majority of the film.
One shot that really did annoy me for it's cheapness was of Ralston preparing for his trek and searching on a high shelf for his Swiss Army knife. His hand flaps to either side trying to find the elusive knife before he gives up and decides to go without it.
As for the soundtrack. Playing Lovely Day over Ralston struggling against his bolder does not make you clever. It's the sort of simplistic cinematic shorthand that I hate.
What should have been an interesting film about the dichotomy between temporary pain and long term survival ended up with me wanting him to cut his throat and not his arm.
So, what did we learn? If you're going trekking, climbing, skiing, diving, hunting or whatever; tell someone where you are going and when you'll be back and just remember kids: perfect planning prevents piss poor performance.
Style over substance and my least favourite Danny Boyle film.
Letterboxd Review
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