The Void (2016)

A Lovecraftian Assault on Precinct 13.

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Don't Breathe (2016)

Get off my lawn!

The film would have been so much better if they'd kept it morally ambiguous by getting rid of the stupid kidnapping sub-plot. Multiple endings, glaring plot-holes, far too many jump-scares, the extremely irritating "Money" character needed to suffer far more than he did, the turkey baster scene was more hilarious than horrifying and that chase scene with the night-vision cam was just stupid.

Disappointing.

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The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

The corpse of the age of Aquarius is butchered and barbecued. Perfect in every way.

Ellie said "s'alright". Kids!

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Predator (1987)

What more could you ask from a jungle-based action sci-fi movie? Schwarzenegger, guns, explosions, blood, guts, booby traps, testosterone overload, quotable dialogue and one-liners, a beautiful woman, magic mud, bombastic score, Jesse Ventura packing a minigun, an alien with a weird crabface and luminous blood. Perfect!

Minus half a star for killing Jesse way too early.

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The Long Good Friday (1980)

Alongside Get Carter, this is the dog's bollocks of British gangster films and a veritable who's who of several decades worth of UK film and TV.

"The Mafia? I've shit 'em!"

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Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation (2015)

Steve G was right, this was really good!

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Star Wars (1977)

I was once talking to a colleague and made the mistake of saying that I didn't think that Star Wars was the greatest film ever made and that George Lucas was an overrated director. After spluttering for a good 20 seconds he responded "that's because you weren't the right age when it came out". In 1977, I was ten and queued around the block to see Star Wars when it was first released and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also read all the books, including "Splinter of the Mind's Eye" and watched the first two sequels at the cinema when they came out. I'm pretty sure that I was exactly the right age. My colleague, on the other hand wasn't even born in 1977!

Funnily, I'm pretty sure I enjoyed Battlestar Galactica even more because that was in Sensurround and it made your seats shake! I guess, that's kids for you :)

Important, influential and fun but not the greatest film ever made. George Lucas is still overrated and a cynical dick to boot.

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Frank Herbert’s Dune (2000)

A complex story of politics, religion, mysticism, treachery, revenge, prophesy and revolution. Sci-Fi Fantasy on a grand scale.

Dune is my second favourite sci-fi book after Arthur C. Clarke's "Rendezvous with Rama" but while this miniseries sticks closer to the source than David Lynch's film, the production values don't do it any favours, with poor effects and a second-rate cast.

The performances are all over the place; P.H. Moriarty as Gurney Halleck is terrible, Baron Harkonnen, Feyd and the Beast do not instil any sort of terror. Paul is played pretty well by Alec Newman, starting off as an arrogant, petulant child before becoming the devotion inspiring Mahdi. It's been a few years since I read the book but I'm sure some of the dialogue was "modernised" and didn't seem to have the elegant and archaic language of the book.

Effects-wise: the Shai-Hulud were okay and you got a good feel for their huge scale but it's best to ignore the shoddy green-screen work. The ornithopters didn't look anything like what I thought an ornithopter should look like.

The costumes and set-dressing, although cheap-looking, had that ostentatious Machiavellian/Borgia/Renaissance/Age of Enlightenment feel that runs throughout the book. I loved the fascistic Samurai look that they gave the Harkonnen and disguised Sardaukar shock troops. However, the stillsuits were baggy and pretty poor (David Lynch made a much better go of them). The Spacing Guild members with their pointy hats seem influenced by the cover of the old paperback I read as a child.

The Petra styled desert sietches with stone furniture and hanging plants contrast well with the ostentatious Imperial and Harkonnen sets. The Islamic and Christian references from the book are present and correct and Paul has a real T.E. Lawrence feel to him.

Would I recommend it to someone new to Dune? Although this adaptation is far less confusing than Lynch's Dune I'd still say you should read the book first as the story is complex (just look at how many names and titles Paul has: Paul Atreides, Muad'Dib, Usul, Mahdi, Kwisatz Haderach) and the miniseries is very long (4:39 hours).

Note that the Australian Umbrella blu-ray has hard-coded French subtitles for the infrequent Bene Gesserit dialogue. English subs do not exist for these brief sections :(

Overall, a thoroughly enjoyable, if flawed, miniseries.

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

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The Accountant (2016)

Well, they shoehorned as many traits as possible and it does nothing to dispel the idea that Aspies are emotionless, would-be killers (even if in a good cause) but it was still good fun, if a little flabby in the second act.

Still, as they say, if you've met one killer with autism, you've met one killer with autism :)

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Doctor Strange (2016)

Benedict is rather good as a wizardly ego-maniacal otter surgeon with a god complex.

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Jodorowsky’s Dune (2013)

Jodorowsky's Dune may not have been Frank Herbert's Dune but I would have loved to have seen it and this is as close as we'll ever get. I just wonder what Denis Villeneuve's vision will be? All I can say is, that the book is great enough to cope with any adaptation (if you haven't read it, you should) and I'm very excited! After all, it's not like the book will just disappear in a puff of smoke :)

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The Shallows (2016)

Hilariously terrible! The slo-mo surfing scenes! Starving so much after a couple of hours she eats a wee crab! Why did she risk her life for a fucking GoPro! The seagull! The drunk Mexican stealing a surfboard! The Swiss Army necklace! A shark not liking jellyfish stings! How long did that fucking tourniquet stay on? What the hell is a buoy doing that close to a beach? Explosive whale oil? Did everyone see the same film as me? My quota of exclamation and question marks has run out. Just awful.

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Spectre (2015)

James Bond's year zero, which started in Skyfall and ends in Spectre, is a beautiful, post-Bourne restart of the franchise that removes the silliness (that bloody invisible car and that stupid inflatable jacket, which would have suited Jeremy Clarkson more than Bond), adds a large dose of grit and brings back the cool. Bond is Bond again rather than someone's smarmy Dad. I can seriously see them heading back to the books and maybe the next film will be 'Live and Let Die', apparently the first Bond story chronologically after 'Casino Royale'. Not quite up there with Skyfall, but damned close. Good stuff.

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Demons (1985)

Zero plot, terrible dialogue, terrific effects, impressively gory, the fastest demon apocalypse ever and the most 80s of 1980s horror films. One of the few films where 80s heavy metal doesn't seem out of place (but Go West? Really?). The scene of the demons coming up the stairs with their eyes glowing is justly iconic and thank heavens for crashed helicopters with compressed air grappling guns!

A VHS favourite of mine back in the day and still more fun than a bad, Italian Michael Dudikoff look-a-like can shake a katana at.

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Rolling Thunder (1977)

A hard Rane's gonna fall.. boom-tish!

William Devane, Tommy Lee Jones, Luke Askew, Dabney Coleman and Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. What more do you want?

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Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Marvel's answer to the collateral damage of DC's 'Man of Steel' and 'Batman v. Superman'.

That airport fight scene was so much fun!

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Star Trek Beyond (2016)

"But when you disarm them, you at once offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or for want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breeds hatred against you." -- Nicolo Machiavelli, The Prince [Chapter XX]

I used 'Star Trek Beyond' to test my new Sony Bravia 4K 55" TV, Denon 7.2 amp (still using 5.1 speakers) and Yamaha subwoofer. I can now consign my extremely old Pioneer 5.1 system to the dusty attic of forgotten gizmos as the film looked and sounded great!

Death by Rock? Really? Ridiculous fun!

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Suicide Squad (2016)

The cons: For a film with such a paper-thin plot it sure was messy. The same could be said about the action sequences - messy. The new Joker was cheap, low-rent and more pimp than arch-villain. Surely they could have found a better character incentive than stealing the old "bomb in the neck" ploy from Escape From New York? The villain and villainess were weak, silly and underused. Far too long.

The pros: A killer soundtrack. Assorted anti-heroes spouting just the right amount of wise-assery (unlike Deadpool). Fun in the places where it didn't take itself too seriously.

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Evil Dead (2013)

Not bad at all and the MC5 t-shirt is a big plus. Oh, and Ellie liked it.

Kick out the jams, motherfuckers!

[I was watching a few Tormented Imp-style Christmas films with my 15 year-old daughter, Ellie]

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The Others (2001)

I was in need of a Christmas ghost story and this is a damned sight better than either "Strictly Come Dancing" or "Paul O'Grady: for the Love of Dogs at Christmas". A terrific homage to Henry James and with a great, spooky 5.1 sound design!

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