Exactly the same as the first Death Nurse
movie and with the same "plot", cast, flashbacks etc but with a little
communism thrown in for some reason. To be honest, I didn't pay it much
attention as a Twitch stream of PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds was far
more interesting. At a push, I'd say that it's slightly better than the
first... maybe... sort of?
damning indictment of US Medicaid or a fucking awful SOV slasher film
with zero plot, flashbacks that are edits from the director's previous
film, loads of padding including ice cream eating and cat chasing,
god-awful special effects and a cast of the oldest and ugliest people
available (you'll be longing for the vapid, pretty, young things from
modern films)? I'll leave that for you to decide. Never has an hour felt
The film would have been so much better if they'd kept it morally ambiguous by getting rid of the stupid kidnapping sub-plot. Multiple endings, glaring plot-holes, far too many jump-scares, the extremely irritating "Money" character needed to suffer far more than he did, the turkey baster scene was more hilarious than horrifying and that chase scene with the night-vision cam was just stupid.
What more could you ask from a jungle-based action sci-fi movie? Schwarzenegger, guns, explosions, blood, guts, booby traps, testosterone overload, quotable dialogue and one-liners, a beautiful woman, magic mud, bombastic score, Jesse Ventura packing a minigun, an alien with a weird crabface and luminous blood. Perfect!
Minus half a star for killing Jesse way too early.
A middling entry in the video nasty list. I don't really know why a
slasher took a bizarre detour into haunted house and exorcism territory
but I'm okay with that. Great soundtrack, decent gore, well shot and
it's always a pleasure to see John Carradine even if the role is not his
usual crusty old doomsayer. The end seemed a little rushed but overall The Bogey Man was pretty good.
This whole sequence has been like looking at my life, my friends, my
music, my politics, my misdemeanours, fuckups and triumphs. In turns,
hilarious and deeply moving. Ken Loach for Generation-X. Woody is
Totally unofficial. No Hendrix music, even his Fender guitars were clones (slightly different headstock, no logo). Funnily, at one point our Jimi plays a Gibson Flying V and I'm pretty sure this was the real thing. It's nice to see that old rivalry is still going strong. Loved the editing.
I was once talking to a colleague and made the mistake of saying that I didn't think that Star Wars was the greatest film ever made and that George Lucas was an overrated director. After spluttering for a good 20 seconds he responded "that's because you weren't the right age when it came out". In 1977, I was ten and queued around the block to see Star Wars when it was first released and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also read all the books, including "Splinter of the Mind's Eye" and watched the first two sequels at the cinema when they came out. I'm pretty sure that I was exactly the right age. My colleague, on the other hand wasn't even born in 1977!
Funnily, I'm pretty sure I enjoyed Battlestar Galactica even more because that was in Sensurround and it made your seats shake! I guess, that's kids for you :)
Important, influential and fun but not the greatest film ever made. George Lucas is still overrated and a cynical dick to boot.
An ultra-low-budget SOV short, less than 20 minutes long.
In a grotty apartment, a woman dresses in sexy undies. The same woman starts to remove sexy undies for a customer. Another woman, in a completely different location, dances on a table. The first woman takes a shower. I think I can see a theme here! A box is delivered. First woman lets her towel fall. Back to the second woman dancing on a table, this time with a fat man watching. First woman gets dressed again. There's definately a theme here! Well, that's well over half the film gone and all I've seen is a box and someone getting dressed and undressed a few times. More table dancing. Another woman enters the apartment. Now, either woman two is wearing a wig or this is woman three... I'm pretty sure this is woman two. They discuss the box, open it and pull out a painting. At last! They then move another painting to a different position, discuss which way to hang the new painting and at long last hang the fucking thing. Five minutes to go. Woman one leaves the apartment to take over the job of dancing but this time not on a table but on a very small stage. Woman two (remember, she's in the apartment) is strangely drawn towards the painting... well she stares blankly at it and gets up off the sofa. The painting bulges towards her hand in a cheap Videodrome, hand poking from the other-side sort of way. A rubber dick pops out of a gash in the painting which then grows, grabs the woman around the neck and pulls her into the painting! The painting burps. Two minutes to go. Woman one is now dancing behind a parasol while stripping. The film then just ends. I'm sure something must have been cut at the end but it was probably more dancing, dressing or undressing.
If you think that because of the multiple dressing/undressing and table dancing, that this is a sexy little short, you couldn't be more wrong. It's not. At all. Nope.
If you really want to watch it you can find it here.
If the best actor on set is Mikey from Boyzone then you really need to visit the local Drama groups and rustle up a few performers other than multiple Catweazle lookalikes and thick-eared farmer's boys.
Still, it's really not as bad as it sounds. It has structure, the shots are relatively well chosen, all the martial-arts and action tropes are present and correct, from training montages (including Van Damme's trademark splits), tournament fighting, gun-play, bar fights, car and bike chases, one-liners. It's a lot more professional and effective than Samurai Cop!
The film ends with a series of Jackie Chan style out-takes.
Good fun and nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be.
A complex story of politics, religion, mysticism, treachery, revenge, prophesy and revolution. Sci-Fi Fantasy on a grand scale.
Dune is my second favourite sci-fi book after Arthur C. Clarke's "Rendezvous with Rama" but while this miniseries sticks closer to the source than David Lynch's film, the production values don't do it any favours, with poor effects and a second-rate cast.
The performances are all over the place; P.H. Moriarty as Gurney Halleck is terrible, Baron Harkonnen, Feyd and the Beast do not instil any sort of terror. Paul is played pretty well by Alec Newman, starting off as an arrogant, petulant child before becoming the devotion inspiring Mahdi. It's been a few years since I read the book but I'm sure some of the dialogue was "modernised" and didn't seem to have the elegant and archaic language of the book.
Effects-wise: the Shai-Hulud were okay and you got a good feel for their huge scale but it's best to ignore the shoddy green-screen work. The ornithopters didn't look anything like what I thought an ornithopter should look like.
The costumes and set-dressing, although cheap-looking, had that ostentatious Machiavellian/Borgia/Renaissance/Age of Enlightenment feel that runs throughout the book. I loved the fascistic Samurai look that they gave the Harkonnen and disguised Sardaukar shock troops. However, the stillsuits were baggy and pretty poor (David Lynch made a much better go of them). The Spacing Guild members with their pointy hats seem influenced by the cover of the old paperback I read as a child.
The Petra styled desert sietches with stone furniture and hanging plants contrast well with the ostentatious Imperial and Harkonnen sets. The Islamic and Christian references from the book are present and correct and Paul has a real T.E. Lawrence feel to him.
Would I recommend it to someone new to Dune? Although this adaptation is far less confusing than Lynch's Dune I'd still say you should read the book first as the story is complex (just look at how many names and titles Paul has: Paul Atreides, Muad'Dib, Usul, Mahdi, Kwisatz Haderach) and the miniseries is very long (4:39 hours).
Note that the Australian Umbrella blu-ray has hard-coded French subtitles for the infrequent Bene Gesserit dialogue. English subs do not exist for these brief sections :(
Overall, a thoroughly enjoyable, if flawed, miniseries.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." Letterboxd Review
Well, they shoehorned as many traits as possible and it does nothing to dispel the idea that Aspies are emotionless, would-be killers (even if in a good cause) but it was still good fun, if a little flabby in the second act.
Still, as they say, if you've met one killer with autism, you've met one killer with autism :)
I've been extremely slack about logging my reviews here and that must stop! I have had a few issues with executive functioning and the review process reducing my enjoyment of films and as a result my film watching activities were almost brought to a halt (I need to take notes and as I cannot write and watch at the same time, a 90 minute film can end up taking 3 hours to watch). I did start writing again but my reviews were shorter. I debated whether to bother posting them here as well as on Letterboxd but in the end I relented and will slowly start to copy them across.
So, most future reviews will be on the short side, although I may still splurge and write a longer piece if I feel the need.
UPDATE: All of my Letterboxd reviews are now on Tormented Imp!
Yet another horror-lite featuring annoying
young shits in a haunted house told with flashbacks and found-footage.
You're left counting the minutes until their inevitable and not very
scary demise. The good stuff: the police parts with Detective Frank
Grillo and Maria Bello as a Doctor of Stuff. The worst: Bryan the
arsehole and that bloody psychic girl.
Jodorowsky's Dune may not have been Frank
Herbert's Dune but I would have loved to have seen it and this is as
close as we'll ever get. I just wonder what Denis Villeneuve's vision
will be? All I can say is, that the book is great enough to cope with
any adaptation (if you haven't read it, you should) and I'm very
excited! After all, it's not like the book will just disappear in a puff
of smoke :)
Hilariously terrible! The slo-mo surfing scenes! Starving so much after a couple of hours she eats a wee crab! Why did she risk her life for a fucking GoPro! The seagull! The drunk Mexican stealing a surfboard! The Swiss Army necklace! A shark not liking jellyfish stings! How long did that fucking tourniquet stay on? What the hell is a buoy doing that close to a beach? Explosive whale oil? Did everyone see the same film as me? My quota of exclamation and question marks has run out. Just awful.
There's one thing missing, and that's the
mythology; the Equaliser appearing out of the shadows like a
trench-coated angel of vengeance (a bloody Michael Landon, if you will),
only to disappear again afterwards. This is played more like a
by-the-numbers revenge thriller with a bit of an origin story tacked on.
Not as bad as I thought it would be.
James Bond's year zero, which started in Skyfall and ends in Spectre, is
a beautiful, post-Bourne restart of the franchise that removes the
silliness (that bloody invisible car and that stupid inflatable jacket,
which would have suited Jeremy Clarkson more than Bond), adds a large
dose of grit and brings back the cool. Bond is Bond again rather than
someone's smarmy Dad. I can seriously see them heading back to the books
and maybe the next film will be 'Live and Let Die', apparently the
first Bond story chronologically after 'Casino Royale'. Not quite up
there with Skyfall, but damned close. Good stuff.
Zero plot, terrible dialogue, terrific
effects, impressively gory, the fastest demon apocalypse ever and the
most 80s of 1980s horror films. One of the few films where 80s heavy
metal doesn't seem out of place (but Go West? Really?). The scene of the
demons coming up the stairs with their eyes glowing is justly iconic
and thank heavens for crashed helicopters with compressed air
A VHS favourite of mine back in the day and still
more fun than a bad, Italian Michael Dudikoff look-a-like can shake a
I don't know what I loved more; Ben
Whishaw, Edward Holcroft, Jim Broadbent or Jim Broadbent's beautiful
house and car. Bloody good stuff! Minus a star for Adrian Lester, who
I've never been fond of and the crappy, elegiac pop music in the final
and slightly corny scene.
I don't think I'll ever shift the image of
Lovejoy's Tinker (Dudley Sutton) warming actresses goose-pimpled tits
with a hairdryer out of my head.
For those wondering, there are short clips of the 'Rape of Christ'
and 'Charred Bone' scenes on the 2-disc BFI DVD but they are not shown
in their entirety thanks to the restrictions imposed on the release by
Warner Brothers. As far as I know, apart from bootlegs and youtube clips
taken from VHS recordings of the original Channel 4 airing of 'Hell on
Earth' there is currently no way to see these excised scenes.
A bloody good documentary on an excellent film but both critic Alexander Walker and Warner Brothers are Grade-A dicks.
The world without Ken Russell and Derek Jarman is a little more dull and pedestrian :(
"But when you disarm them, you at once
offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or
for want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breeds hatred against
you." -- Nicolo Machiavelli, The Prince [Chapter XX]
'Star Trek Beyond' to test my new Sony Bravia 4K 55" TV, Denon 7.2 amp
(still using 5.1 speakers) and Yamaha subwoofer. I can now consign my
extremely old Pioneer 5.1 system to the dusty attic of forgotten gizmos
as the film looked and sounded great!