Wyrmwood: Road Of The Dead (2014)

28 Days Later, Mad Max, Bad Taste, The Paul Hogan Show, The 'A' Team and everyone's favourite book of the bible. Hilarious, bloody and ingenious.

An OckZomCom!

Letterboxd Review

Z for Zachariah (2015)

Apparently, science is northern, black, aggressive, immoral and destructive whereas religion is southern, white, moral, natural, tolerant and wholesome.

Obvious, more than a little obnoxious and dull.

Letterboxd Review

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

A tale of emancipation and the death of religion.

A near perfect blend of practical and CGI effects, senseless violence and subtext, artiface and reality, the big spectical and the internal dialogue.

The Handmaid's Tale for the 21st century.

---

Immortan Joe,
V8 be your name.
No water come,
your law will be done,
on the road, as it is in Valhalla.
Give us this day our gasoline,
and forgive our weakness,
as we suck a new blood bag.
And let us not die soft,
but go out with our grills chromed.
Forever and ever mate.

— The Warboy's Prayer

---

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

— Ephesians 5:22-33

---

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

— Timothy 2:11-15

---

"Abandonment of slavery is also the banishment of the chimera of security. The world will not change overnight, and liberation will not happen unless individual women agree to be outcasts, eccentrics, perverts, and whatever the powers-that-be choose to call them."

— Germaine Greer, "The Female Eunuch"

---

"This view that women are somehow inferior to men is not restricted to one religion or belief. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths. Nor, tragically, does its influence stop at the walls of the church, mosque, synagogue or temple. This discrimination, unjustifiably attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for the deprivation of women's equal rights across the world for centuries. At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.... The truth is that male religious leaders have had -- and still have -- an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter."

— Jimmy Carter, "Losing My Religion for Equality"

---

"I am one of the Vuvalini! Of the many mothers! My Initiating Mother was K.T. Concannon! I am the daughter of Mary Jabassa. My clan was Swaddle Dog!"

— (no longer) Imperator Furiosa

Letterboxed Review

Pacific Rim (2013)

I've not seen many Kaijū films apart from the various Godzillas; from the original, through Mathew Broderick to the latest affair which was so dark I couldn't actually see the Monsters.

As I have to start making pizza (yes, I'll add my recipe to the Recipes list when I get the chance) for dinner I don't have the time to write a proper review from my notes so here's a random list of shit I noticed:

From their gung-ho and over-confident start the soldiers are pretty quickly slapped into humility. Fog-horn sound design. Battle of the Planets suits. Wizzy energy weapons. Not sure why damage feedback from the external Jaeger would affect the pilots - but I guess some form of jeopardy was needed else it would be a pretty boring movie. A great sense of the gigantic scale of both the monsters and the Jaeger bots. I didn't understand the whole wall versus Jaeger sub-plot except to highlight the stupidity of politicians; but surely we know that already! Idris Elba is shouty. The hero leaving because his brother is killed and then returning after getting a talking-to by Idris Elba is pretty clichéd. The theory that the dinosaurs were a trial run for the Kaijū is pretty ridiculous and makes a mockery of evolution but hey ho. Colourful and nicely developed characters. Exposition only when needed. No false endings, a la Bay. Rinko Kikuchi is stunning! I liked the James Bond style ending.

Pacific Rim is contrived and jammed full of cliché but still a good looking, sonically super, giant monster movie filled with neon, cables, pumps, power ranger posturing and a fucking bulldog! I used to have a bulldog and I fucking love them!

For two hours I felt like a child again.

Original letterboxd review

The Rover (2014)

Guy Pearce plays Eric, a man haunted by his past and in search of his stolen car. Aided by the wounded brother of one of the thieves, they cross a near-future, Australian wasteland, leaving destruction in their wake.

The Rover is the spiritual successor to Mad Max, although the premise also reminds me of Point Blank. A protagonist with a single focus, willing to kill anyone who gets in the way of achieving his objective. The Japanese have a term, giri, that denotes the obligation of one person to another. The Rover is all about giri and this works in both directions; Pattinson's duty to the person who saved his life and Pearce's adoption of Pattinson.

Beautifully shot and composed. The film has a yellow hue and a wide aspect ratio that captures the desolate outback perfectly. Then there's the soundtrack, and what a soundtrack. A minimalist, post-rock masterpiece that sounds like telegraph cables vibrating in a hot desert wind. Perfect.

Pearce, complete with thousand yard stare, looks as crusty as an old croc and as pissed off as a snake in a clothes mangle. He's the fifth horseman of the apocalypse and he rides a dusty black ute. Pattinson's no slouch either and carries off his "Lenny" like character perfectly.

Grim.

"How the hell are you going to get to where you're going if you don't know where the fuck you are?"

Original letterboxd review

The Survivalist (1987)

The Survivalist: An ode to gun worship and paranoia in a world gone mad.

"The only difference between Vincent and me is he's a high-minded guy. He can afford high ideals and I'm a country boy who can't. I can't even afford reality, and reality's shit!"

There are so many things to love about this film:

• The way the US turns into a lawless country full of murder, mayhem and chaos after a small suitcase nuke is detonated in the arse-end of Siberia. Why?
• How.. slowly... can... the... Presidential... Spokesman... speak?
• The National Guardsman (Marjoe Gortner) in charge of the "sector" is allowed to ride around on a chopped hog. A while later we discover that the National Guard are a bike gang who ride chopped hogs and dirt bikes!
• The hero (Steve Railsback) is so wee and little compared to the testosterone injected walnut sacks normally in films from this period.
• The police hide and do nothing while the city burns.
• Cliff De Young - one of those faces you immediately recognise and say "What do I know him from?"
• Sandra Lea is absolutely awful as Railsback's wife. Really, really bad.
• Inappropriate and ill fitting music.
• Seems to be based on The Survivalist books by Jerry Ahern I read when I was a kid. They just changed the hero's name and he doesn't wear mirror shades.
• Marjoe Gortner's hair.
• Marjoe Gortner is awesome!
• What to do if you ever feel threatened by bikers riding too close: drive, on purpose, over a conveniently placed dirt ramp, roll your truck, then burn to death as it explodes for no reason.
• Why are dozens of men and a helicopter tasked to find Steve Railsback?
• The doctor's hissy fit when he tries to go his own way.
• Cars explode for no reason.

One of my favourite scenes is at 1:14:30. I can't say anything else without giving the whole plot away, but... how the fuck do you think he's going to react you morons! Watch it and you'll see what I mean.

The Survivor is a little slow at times but overall it's great fun with exploding cars, lots of guns, biker soldiers, a likeable cast and Marjoe fucking Gortner!

I've a link to it on my Trash on youtube list if you fancy watching it.

Original letterboxd review

Turkey Shoot (1982)

The world goes to hell in a hand basket, and then...

Malcontents in a futuristic (in the cheapest possible way) totalitarian society are sent to a detainment camp for re-education where they're beaten, whipped, humiliated and, ultimately, hunted for sport a la The Most Dangerous Game. To be honest, the hunters are so incompetent we're just waiting for them to be killed by the equally incompetent prey. While all this is going on we can play a game of spot the B grade actors: we've got Noel "Mouth Full o' Plums" Ferrier. Roger "Mad Max" Ward, Olivia "Mmmm" Hussey, Steve "Crusher" Rackman, Steve "Fucking" Railsback and loads more. A veritable who's who of Mad Max, Harlequin and Crocodile Dundee!

The acting is passable, the dialogue is okay, the effects are fine, and there lies the problem. It's not good enough to be good and not bad enough to be good. It's just sort of in the middle and that's somewhere a B movie should never be. It does have it's moments though, usually involving Alph the wolfman who has a taste for toes.

Decent Ozploitation but not cheesy or bad enough to be a great one.

David Hemmings (Blowup, Barbarella, Deep Red) was executive producer! Why?

Original letterboxd review

Snowpiercer (2013)

"We control the engine, we control the world. All past revolutions have failed because we couldn't take the engine"

A film about revolution, its cost and above all how we must never allow ourselves to be in the position where revolt is the only option left. Unfortunately, it seems the world is heading further in that direction with each coming day. Fight for your rights now and don't let government and corporations gradually remove or dilute them until we have only one option left. Do not accept the status quo. The workers are the engine.

Snowpiercer has some beautifully and imaginatively filmed action sequences that have just enough "shaky-cam" to add momentum, vital in this film as everything is above forward movement. The middle-eight is well placed allowing us to reflect on the frenetic first half of the film and anticipate the second.

The cast; Tilda Swinton, Jamie Bell (supplying much needed, but light, comic relief that actually works for once), the beautiful Kang-ho Song, Octavia Spencer, Ah-sung Ko are all outstanding. Shit the entire cast are great. But special credit must go to Swinton who creates a sycophantic monster with echoes of Margaret Thatcher, Mary Whitehouse and Vivienne Westwood (Westwood's always been distastefully enamoured with the nobility and the rich), and if one line sums up this film it's Tilda Swinton's character crying "it's not me!". It's never me. It's never my fault. Someone else made me do it.

SNowpiercer also carries sub-themes of innocence and how we must protect it from corruption, the use of narcotics and religion in the subjugation of the masses, and how hate, power and revenge can blind and corrupt.

A great film that I know I'll come back to time and time again.

As a parting note, Oxfam recently reported that the wealthiest one per cent possesses about half of the world’s wealth. It looks like we're already on the train.

Original letterboxd review

World War Z (2013)

I've not gone out of my way to watch World War Z. I like my zombie films with blood, guts and a little humour on the side. I don't want romantic zombie movies. I don't want 15 cert zombie movies. I don't want A-list actor zombie movies. I want my zombie movies from Italy or Pennsylvania. And I want brains! But wait a minute, this is the "unrated" version! Woo hoo!

The film starts with the beautiful and happy Pitt family sitting down to a peaceful breakfast. Hey, you do need a full stomach if the dead are about the walk the earth.

A quick question. Does your average American eat pancakes for breakfast? This is something I've always wanted to know. I'd assume that most people would just throw down a bowl of cereal and a coffee then run out the door. So, I guess the Pitt family's pre-infestation breakfast of pancakes is cinematic shorthand for "Hey, this is your average, loving, post-nuclear, terrorist aware, American family"? Honestly, I'm really not taking the piss out our American cousins; I really am curious. I just have a glass of grapefruit juice. I used to have a cup of coffee. Instant. I love a cup of freshly ground coffee, but found that it played havoc with my, shall we say "internal workings" that early in the morning. Oh and I mix a little water with the grapefruit juice so I goes down a little easier as sometimes it can be a little thick. Definitely no pancakes. Who has the time? I'd have to get up at least 30 minutes earlier, get everyone else up - and I think they'd complain about getting up at 5:45am - just for pancakes and bacon. I think they'd kill me. Which brings us to bacon. Over here we mostly eat smoked, back bacon (I think our Canadian brothers and sisters eat the same), but the US family seems to eat, what we call "streaky" bacon. Less meat, more fat. Is it difficult to get decent back bacon in the States or do people really prefer the taste of streaky? Well, I suppose you can fit more in the pan as it's narrower than back bacon. Notice I say "narrower", this is to differentiate between the width of the bacon slice and the thickness. Thickness is probably the most important element to a good slice of bacon. I like to get ours from the local butcher. It's dry smoke cured, thick cut back bacon. Sometimes we get an end cut which is as thick as a piece of gammon steak. Gorgeous! Bacon, however, we eat in the evening, if I fancy a rest from cooking a fancy meal. Bacon, sausages (from the same butcher), chips or sometimes hasselback potatoes, tomatoes and brown (never tomato) sauce. This is known as a "Full English Breakfast", and yes, we have it for dinner. So, Our family all sit down together, in the evening, for a full cooked breakfast. The exact opposite from the Pitt family. Does that make us weird? Would we fail a zombie apocalypse because we eat our bacon in the evening and just a cup of grapefruit juice in the morning. Is this why Pitt succeeds? He has a belly full of pancakes and bacon to give him the fuel to fight the zombie horde! Anyway, the question still stands. Do Americans really eat bacon and pancakes together for breakfast?

To tell you the truth, I wrote the above before watching the film, assuming it would be crap. Then I could say "whatever you think of the review at least it's more interesting then the movie". Well, I was wrong. It's not your classic zombie movie however. It's an overly long, coincidence packed, flashy disaster movie with zombies in it and it's really good fun.

Fun coincidence(?) to look out for: Peter Capaldi plays a doctor at a WHO facility near Cardiff!

Original letterboxd review

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

If the original Planet of the Apes was an allegory of racism then Dawn is about imperialism and the subjugation of people over resources (a little like Avatar but not so heavy-handed or blue).

If there is one general theme of the film it is that of fear, and fear along with greed, ignorance, treachery and misunderstanding have been the primary sources of war and conflict throughout history. With shades of Vietnam and the Fall and Rise (and no I didn't get that the wrong way around) of the Roman Empire, Dawn echoes human conflict through the ages.

Final thoughts:

Andy Serkis received a huge amount of attention for his portrayal of Caesar but kudos go to Toby Kebbell who played Koba, and was absolutely brilliant.

During the start of the final battle it's interesting how once the apes, once armed and led by Koba, fight as humans in a frontal assault and forget their love of the high ground.

Great to see the apes on horses!

Was that a bit of the Ali/Foreman rope-a-dope between Koba and Caesar at the end?

A terrific sequel to an outstanding remake of a classic film. You don't see that often!

Original letterboxd review

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

A fast paced action sci-fi, grounded in contemporary tech, with a time-loop theme.

Imagine playing a first-person shooter. Imagine continuously saving your game, dying, reloading, getting a bit further, dying, reloading, getting a bit further... This is the basic premise of Edge of Tomorrow. It's a movie for the Half-Life/Quake/CoD generation. Plot-holes abound, covered with sticky plasters that barely stop it bleeding out, but, as Blain once said "I ain't got time to bleed!".

Great fun.

Original letterboxd review

How I Live Now (2013)

I get not telling us exactly why the conflict (I don't think an actual war was ever specified) happened but this doesn't excuse simple logical flaws. The information we are given is that the bomb was exploded by terrorists. How then do, I assume, a few terrorists, even if supported by a nation state, wage enough of a ground offensive to cripple an entire nation in such a short amount of time. I know we have several precedents for this (Ukraine for one) but the UK has a large standing army and I'm sure the UN would probably send a peacekeeping force and the US would also step in to ensure stability.

Also, how did they find their way home without a compass and map. It's pretty easy to miss a location if you are even a degree off course - the bird idea just doesn't cut it.

Anyway, gripe over.

The film is beautifully shot and the acting is pretty decent, bar the performance for the kid who plays Joe, the family friend. The conflict seemed very real and some scenes were extremely powerful, in fact a little to powerful for a lot of younger and probably older teens (this is a UK 15 certificate).

How the film compares to the book; I can't say. I borrowed the book off my daughter Ellie duing a flight to Norway and didn't finish it but enjoyed what I read.

Overall a great young adult drama, beautifully shot with good editing and performances.

Just remember kids; don't fuck with your cousins... literally.

Original letterboxd review

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

“Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you”

Rarely is a remake as good as or better than the original. Even more rare is a great remake of an already classic original. The 1978 version of Body Snatchers is that super rare film. Better than the original? I'm still not sure - I'm a huge fan of the 1956 version - but this film delivers tension and scares by the bucket load. Full of paranoia, occasional humour, terrific practical effects, great camera work, a discordant soundtrack to die for and a cameo by the star of the original film Kevin McCarthy. I could have done without Leonard Nimoy and it was fun to see Jeff Goldblum played "Jeff Goldblum" even back then, but this is a great sci-fi, horror remake that took the original idea and made it its own.

They're here already!

Original letterboxd review

Red Dawn (2012)

Whatever happened to kids walking down rail tracks in search of a dead body. I've a feeling that this is how Michael Bay would direct a coming of age film. Jingoistic crap, but sort of fun.

Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood!

Original letterboxd review

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Fuck Peter Jackson! This is what we want! Is it as good as the '68 film - no, no NO! Is it as good as it closest relation (Conquest of the Planet of the Apes) - no, it's better. Far too many exclamation points! Out!

Original letterboxd review

Mad Max (1979)

Take note Tarantino; this is a grindhouse classic. A near perfect action film with great editing, cinematography and dialogue. The 2.35:1 ratio is perfect for the Australian outback and the wide, straight roads. This and the zoom shots of eyes nod to Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns - in fact Mad Max is very much an Aussie western. Crows cawing precede each action sequence apart from the finale in which a bird of prey appears just as Max seeks revenge. Please watch this film with the original Australian soundtrack as the colloquialisms are fantastic - any film with a kid called sprog is all right in my book.

"They say people don't believe in heroes anymore. Well, damn them! You and me, Max, we're gonna give 'em back their heroes!"

Original letterboxd review