National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

Still one of the greatest Christmas films... fuck that... one of the greatest films ever made.

An older and longer review here

Letterboxd Review

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

We have Christmas traditions. We buy and decorate the tree on the first weekend before Christmas day, even though most places have already sold out due to people starting their celebrations in November. We put the kids stockings on their bed during Christmas night, after 1am, even though they're aged 22 and 14. The stockings always have an orange, an apple, chocolate money and a pair of socks in them. We eat croissants, fresh coffee and orange juice for breakfast. I pick up our parents and presents are exchanged. I cook a large meal with all the trimmings for the family. We always, as a family, walk the dog after lunch. And every single year we watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

And things would go wrong.

When I was a kid we would cut our own tree and every year it was too tall for the front room. One year we bought a short tree only to cut the ties and have it explode outwards and take up half the front room. There would be arguments over the silliest things. I have sledded, whilst drunk, down a hill and across a road. Of course every year the lights would fail due to a blown bulb or fuse. Every single year something would fuck up, but it didn't matter. Not in the slightest, because Christmas is bigger than all that and that is precisely what National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is all about.

Possibly the most accurate Christmas movie ever made.

Merry Christmas everybody! Hallelujah! Holy shit, where's the Tylenol?

It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002)

The Muppets do It's a Wonderful Life. Is it great? Well, I laughed out loud quite a few times. It does do that thing I hate: ncluding adult orientated jokes, but hey it's the muppets, so I'll let them off a few indiscretions. I came close to adding an entire star for Joan Cusack who I have a wee crush on. It's a short review so, to whip up some controversy, here's the cast in order of loveliness.

• Joan Cusack
• Sam the Eagle
• Kermit
• Lew Zealand
• Rowlf the Dog
• Beaker
• Miss Piggy
• The Chickens
• Pepe the Prawn
• Statler & Waldorf
• Bobo the Bear
• Animal
• Sweetums
• Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
• Swedish Chef
• The Great Gonzo
• Fozzie Bear
• Rizzo the Rat
• Floyd Pepper
• Johnny Fiama
• Janice
• Dr. Teeth
• Sal Manilla
• Bean Bunny
• Robin
• Scooter (everybody hates Scooter)

Original letterboxd review

Deck The Halls (2006)

Watched while cooking dinner so I wasn't paying a lot of attention.

I think it was about lightbulbs or something. Danny DeVito had a blonde sexy wife because that's funny because he's short and everything. An obvious happy ending and I guess that's what we want from a Christmas film. We need to know everything will be ok in the end, but... It's no Elf.

There was a Lego: Friends advert at the end which was way more offensive, so yay for Broderick and DeVito and fuck Lego!

Oh, three glasses of red and a bottle of dark beer :)

Original letterboxd review

Treevenge (2008)

Whether this is a clever treatise on mass-consumption and consumerism or a very silly, blood-soaked, horror short about homicidal Christmas trees, I'll let you decide. Great fun with some quite cool practical effects but not enough squirrels for my liking.

Original letterboxd review

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

Just remember how bad shit gets, it could be worse.

My god this film nearly falls over a very, very fine line into sugary, sweet sickliness so many times but gets pulled back, just in time, into a grim reality to ground it. And the grim stuff is pretty grim. George drunk, George shouting at his kids, George starting fights, George not existing. Grim.

I'd love to knock half a star off for old man Potter not getting his arse kicked and for the tacky soft-focus of Mary just before George loses it, but I can't. It really is a wonderful life.

Not just the best Christmas film ever but one of the greatest films ever, and yes I cried... again... several times.

Original letterboxd review