Sunday 23 November 2014

Demons in My Head (2000)

I knew I was in for a treat as a grand total of three people on letterboxd have seen this and only one of them gave it a rating. The movie starts with the credits and someone called David Vallon has the role of "the wisest man in the universe". Now that's a lot for Dave to live up to, let's hope he's up to the job.

This was such an insane film that I thought I'd try and cover the entire plot in my review, so if you're thinking of watching this quite mental, c-grade, Aussie horror flick turn away now.

Meteorite falls from the sky into the back yard of a couple of "dudes" who look like they dressed in a charity shop during a powercut. Heavy repo "jocks" appear at the door and then leave for no reason. The third and female houemate appears. Dude1 loves dudette but this is not reciprocated. Dude1 gets covered in shit. The plaster of paris Meteorite is dug up and attacked with a hammer and chisel. Weird religious couple appear. Inside the meteorite is a device that looks like a headset. Exposition ensues. Dude1 flirts with religious lady. Ancient writings of the nephilm. Apparently it is thought the nephilm built the pyramids, so fuck you Egypt and your slaves. Boobage. Weird uncomfortable threesome sex scene between the dudes and a call-girl called Pamela. Dude2 tells dude 1 that he loves him. Dude1 finally put the headset on and gets fast cut visions. Sex scene of a Dudette humping a bloke's chest. So Dude1 loves Dudette, Dude2 loves Dude1, dudette loves humping men's torsos. Dude1 gets caught peeping at dudette and bloke chest humping. The headset goes on Dude1 and stay on through the night. Still no wise man. Religious couple join them for breakfast. Cheap special effects and Dude1 materialises some strawberry milk, a spiny fruit and a wooden idol. Why? Religious lady tries to convert Dude1 again. More flirting. More materialisation and a bottle of pop and a blue banana appear. And now some knackered money. Dude2 put the headset on. More visions, this time of a man with jam on his face vomiting milk. Circular saw! Yay, action. No, the vision ends with no blood shed. Extra-dimensional exposition. Lovers tiff between Dude1 and 2. Block of green metal materialises and a book vanishes. Book reappears. Dude1 makes tries to materialise a woman from a poster on his bedroom wall but instead a sexy grey lady appears - a nephilm I guess. Nephilm dribbles blood down her tits and says she wants to get it on. Dude1 refuses and sexy grey lady vanishes. Unsexy bearded old man appears and names the headset as a Nephilistic Dimensional Exelerator! Aha! Old man warns of the dangers of using the NDE and vanishes. Dude1 tries to materialise poster girl again, says "Oh no!" and fadeout. The religious nutters knock at the door and a really bad "possessed" voice tells them to "go away". They go in anyway. It's the jam faced, milk dribbling bloke! They get milk spat on them and pass out. They wake up in their underwear with Jammy man licking and nibbling them. Jammy tunes a radio into some death metal. Dude1 manages to get the NDE on his head and stops jammy man just as he was about to have fun with a powerdrill. Jammy man gets drilled and disappears. Dude1 makes dudette's boyfriend (he of the humpable chest) disappear. Dude1 now seems to have a throne of skulls and candles - what the fuck? Still no wise man. Beardy bloke is back, Wait a minute! Is he? Could he be? Is beardy man the wisest man in the universe? Oh, he's gone again. Jammy man and the torso dude are back. Jammy man tears a rubber arm off religious man and then nibbles him. Pig intestines! Dude1 looks pretty poorly by now. Religious lady tries to banish jammy man (maybe a slice of toast would work). Dude1 expels Jammy man again. Religious man tries to stuff pig intestines back into his stomach. Dude1 is now bleeding from his eyes. Dudette and torso leave the house. For no reason Dude1 now has a sexy lady dream. Dude1 is now most definitely possessed as he has purple lines drawn on his face and is looking frowny. Dude2 files his nails! Theological discussion between possessed Dude1 and religious lady. Dude1 wants her to be his whore of babylon! Dude2 snatches the NDE from Dude1's head. Screaming. Jammy man's back. Dude2 puts the NDE on his own head. Religious lady stabs jammy man with a very small nail file. A Jammy woman appears and Dude1 vanishes and reappears in a foggy field. Beardy man's back again. Yes! He actually says he's the wisest man in the universe! His advice? "Stop using the headset". Dimensional exposition. Beardy man sends Dude1 back home (he's like a beardy wizard of oz), but not before explaining that the jammy ones don't like bicarb of soda and brass. I like beardy man.Dude1 grabs a tub of bicarb and throws it on a jammy man. Oh, I think jammy woman is a long haired jammy man. Religious lady stabs jammy man/woman with the nail file... lots and lots. Bad video effect. Religious lady puts a NDE on herself! Why? Possessed religious lady. Jammy man/woman worships possessed religious lady and disappears. Dude2 comforts and strokes Dude1. Possessed religious lady talks to beardy man and makes a metal skull and lots of money appear. Poster girl appears! No, Dude2 has been turned into poster girl! Dude1 and Dude2/poster girl get it on until he/she gets all skanky and burny. The end. What the fuck?

At least it wasn't boring. I quite liked it.

Original letterboxd review

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