The Black Cat (1981)

Lucio Fulci does Midsomer Murders.

Bad things about cats

• They shit in your garden.
• They climb your curtains and your wife's legs.
• They steal your elderly neighbour's roast beef.
• Trying to get two of them in a box to take to the vet is a Gordian knot sized problem.
• Until you check, you can never be entirely sure if the little fuckers are alive or dead.
• They are the harbingers of death and leave misery in their wake.

Good things about cats

• They are not wasps.

Nope-Tober: Random Shit for an Ill-disciplined Mind

Letterboxd Review

Weng's Chop: Issue 0 (2012)

I grew up with zines. I remember the old punk zines, I was a Hawkfan and had some of the Hawkwind zines, then the hardcore punk zines - back when I ran a punk distro I even had an advert in some of them. In other words I love them. For some reason though, film zines just passed me by. Sure I read Fangoria, Darkside and even Samhain, but all those handmade, handwritten horror manifestos went straight under my radar. Then I noticed some of my Amazon recommendations were books with names like Cinema Sewer and Weng's Chop and that they had volume and issue numbers! It seems that zines are alive and well in the age of the internet and, as I'd just received a Christmas bonus, I thought I'd check them out and ordered the full back catalogue of both Cinema Sewer and Weng's Chop.

The first issue of Weng's Chop is a wee zine. It's a 52 page, small format book filled with B&W print and illustrations, and comes wrapped in a full colour, perfect bound, soft cover. The zine covers exploitation, horror, adult, gonzo, trash and the weird side of film. For those worried about illegible handwritten text and cut and paste layout, do not fear. Although the print is small it's cleanly layed-out and completely readable. Sure it has the occasional spelling and grammatical error but so fucking what. It's full of the same passion and energy of the zines of yore.

The reviews are informative, funny and not snobby or elitist in the least. The authors really know their stuff and each has their own area of expertise. The frequent cast, crew and film references will give you hours of fun searching on IMDb and Amazon, although your bank balance may regret it.

Weng's Chop is from people that understand grindhouse, exploitation and underground films and get that it's not the end of the world if an acting performance doesn't hit the mark in some low budget indie gore-fest. They get that. That's not to say that it's full of fanboy gushing as they're not afraid to lay into any fuckups, but, as they say, it's all about the context.

The standouts are:

• The editorial - a lovely and funny intro.
• The 'Bohachi Bushido' review - the sheer passion really made me want to see this film.
• The House by the Cemetery (Christian version) - I had no idea this monstrosity existed!
• The article on Indian horror. If I can get past those bloody song and dance numbers I may just have to get some of these.

Totally recommended.

Don't Torture a Duckling (1972)

I watched the Shameless DVD with the original Italian soundtrack and English subtitles.

Young boys are being murdered in a beautiful Italian town and it's up the local carabinieri and a reporter to discover the rotten truth that lurks beneath its idyllic surface.

Don't Torture a Duckling stars the beautiful Florinda Balkan, previously seen in Fulci's Lizard in a Woman's Skin, the equally stunning Barbara Bouchet (The Red Queen Kills Seven Times), and Tomas Milian from Umberto Lenzi's violent poliziotteschi, Almost Human.

The film starts as it means to go on with a spooky opening scene of Bolkan's character, Maciara (an alleged local witch) digging up the skeleton of a young child in the hills outside a medieval Italian town. It's here that Fulci starts several juxtapositions running throughout the film, with the old stone buildings of the town and the new motorway overpasses that lead to it.

Fulci doesn't hang around and the suspects are introduced almost immediately; as well as Maciara there is Barra, a local peeping tom and Bouchet's character Patrizia, a rich young thing who loves to flirt with young boys.

The police are not totally ineffectual for once, although they are very quick to jump to conclusions and seem intent on solving the murders as quickly as possible no matter who gets hurt on the way. Running parallel to their investigations are the enquiries made by Martelli, a newspaper reporter played by Milian. Both methods run counter-productive to each other with the police leaping from suspect to suspect using overwhelming force, supposition and aggression, thus causing tension and breeding suspicion in the town. Whilst the quiet detective work of Martelli at first seems more effective it also has its problems; the most obvious being his rearranging of a crime scene to create a better photo for his newspaper.

The tone of the film is not unlike the rural horror films of the sixties. Duckling is shot through with the old: the crumbling town, witchcraft, the medieval trappings of Catholicism, dark churches, skeletal statues, ritual and litany intersecting with the new: the motorway overpasses, radio soap operas, the modernity of Patrizia's house and lifestyle. Juxtaposition and duality abound: rich/poor, old/new, tradition/modernity, outward appearances/inward morality, Christianity/Paganism, logic/superstition, innocence/sexuality, tolerance/persecution, light Patrizia/dark Maciara.

Very nicely shot and filled with close-ups and medium shots which, as well as giving the film an air of claustrophobia also does a great job of internalising the collective grief of the town. Some of the fast edits are excellent, with the same character moving from one location and time to another without any jarring at all.

There are several shocking moments, unusually involving the discovery of dead children and there are some very good, infrequent gore scenes of the type that Fulci is justly famous for. The scene where Maciara is attacked is extremely well done and very similar to the violent chain whipping from his later film, The Beyond. Also, the duck motif (obviously in the name but also as a child's toy in the third act) pops up again in Fulci's later exploitation classic The New York Ripper. Overall, for once Fulci is extremely restrained and forgoes his usual exploitative touches.

The film features an atmospheric soundtrack by the prolific Riz Ortolani (Seven Blood-Stained Orchids, Seven Deaths in the Cat's Eye, Cannibal Holocaust) although I wasn't too sure about the rock and pop tracks used during the persecution of Balkan's character. It does fit with the theme of duality but it is more than a little jarring.

The children are great and full of devil-may-care attitude, daring do, cigarettes, catapults, grazed knees and add a real air of realism to the film. Balkan is all wild hair and wide staring eyes - she really does look like she stepped out of Witchfinder General. Milian is very good as the dogged reporter but is a little underused in the first two acts. Really though the film belongs to the women and children.

The picture is okay but a little blurry or dark in places but really deserves a proper Blu-Ray release. Watch it as a double bill with The House with Laughing Windows or Who Saw Her Die.

Don't Torture a Duckling deserves its reputation as a gialli classic.

Letterboxd Review

Who Saw Her Die? (1972)

This is the Shameless DVD that I'm watching. Apparently this release is very slightly longer than the Blue Underground DVD. Both are have a dubbed English soundtrack.

I'm a big fan of the social commentary lurking behind Aldo Lado's 1975 rape revenge flick, Night Train Murders (L'ultimo treno della notte) and his 1971 gialli Short Night of Glass Dolls (La corta notte delle bambole di vetro), and I'm hoping that Who Saw Her Die? will similarly deliver the goods.

Made a year before Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now, Lado's Who Saw Her Die? shares similar themes of grief and guilt. Even the famous sex scene is here, admittedly in an abbreviated form but it still shows the outpouring of grief through sex.

In France, a young girl is viciously murdered whilst sledding by a mysterious black clothed killer. We are immediately asked the question "Who Saw Her Die?" in thick red lettering seen through the killer's black veil. It is simultaneously an open invitation for the viewer to solve the crime and also an indictment of our passivity as bystanders. Is it our fault that she died? Easily the best and most intriguing title sequence I've seen in a gialli.

The action then shifts to Venice and sculptor Franco (played by George Lazenby, who only two films earlier was on top of the world playing James Bond) and his young daughter Roberta. The wife/mother is absent and we learn that the couple have drifted apart. Instead of rushing headlong into the killings, Lado takes his time and introduces us to the film's characters. We lean about them, their backgrounds, motivations, relationships. We start to care about them.

From this point on the suspects and red herrings are laid on thick and fast. Is the killer the man who was scarred in a fencing accident, the friend who takes a little too much interest in the young Roberta? The decadent art dealer? Someone else entirely? The tension is then really cranked up with multiple failed attempts to kill Roberta until finally the inevitable happens. The killer strikes again.

From here on we follow Franco on a frantic hunt through labyrinthine alleys as Venice shifts from being beautiful and filled with laughter to a dark place that is twisted, confusing and frustrating. Meanwhile the killer shifts their attention from children to anyone who may have seen Roberta die.

The last 20 minutes of the film will have you on the edge of your seat as suspect after suspect is dealt with, until the final shocking reveal.

There is great cinematography from Franco Di Giacomo (Il Postino) and Ennio Morricone's soundtrack of children singing is evocative and fits both the film and its themes well. Lazenby is terrific as the grieving father and his performance far surpasses that of his 007. Nicoletta Elmi, who plays his daughter, is a little star who obviously had great chemistry with Lazenby and later appeared in both Dario Argento's Deep Red and Lamberto Bava's Demons.

As for the social commentary: it does seem that Lado, yet again, has it in for the bourgeoisie. It may not be as overt as in Night Train Murders but it's there nonetheless. The victims are daughters of upper middle class families (the first has a nanny, the second's father is a sculptor). Venice itself being an affluent and bohemian location. Conversations about art, money, travel are heard throughout the film. Even something as simple as the white clothes that the father and his friends wear display social position - no poor person could afford to wear something that could get dirty so easily. Also many of the main characters are portrayed as morally bankrupt and corrupt; of course there's one thing more corrupt to a socialist than the bourgeoisie but I don't want to give the game away. Finally there's also a strong hint of the type of conspiracy found in Lado's Short Night of Glass Dolls.

Who Saw Her Die is, like Short Night of Glass Dolls, not too bloody but what blood there is is of that bright red Italian stuff that looks like Humbrol enamel paint, and either you love it or hate it. I love it.

The quality of the Shameless DVD was very good with a sharp and colourful print (apart from what seems to be the occasional splicing fuckup), and a soundtrack that doesn't overpower the clear dialogue. In fact the dialogue is far better than the usual badly translated dubbing we get with Italian films.

I may be biased due to my Lado love but I really enjoyed this film and think it has a lot to offer. A top notch gialli!

Letterboxd Review

Lizard in a Woman's Skin (1971)

Optimum Classic DVD in Italian with English subs.

Even from the start credits I know I'm in for a treat. The music, the visuals, and then Florinda Bolkan; I'm overdosing on gorgeousness! A bewildered Bolkan, breathing heavily, runs down a train corridor which then beautifully segues to her still running, but this time down a white corridor filled with naked bodies, fucking. Falling, then running again, this time in darkness, and finally lesbian sex on a Marilyn Monroe style red bed. Fucking hell, this is good!

Bolkan plays Carol Hammond, daughter of a politician, wife of a cheating husband. She and her husband are not sleeping together and because of this sexual frustration she dreams of making love to Julia, her next door neighbour - the only person she can get sexual satisfaction from. Everyone around Carol is having sex, even the old fluorescent woman upstairs is fucking her chauffeur. Then the dreams turn nasty and she kills her dream lover and Carol is the main suspect. But hold on, this is gialli and we can be certain that things are never as simple as they appear.

Bolkan is brilliant as Carol and Fulci uses every trick in the book to highlight her neuroses including some wonderfully wobbly and slightly distorted POV shots.

In Woman in a Lizard's Skin we have art, sexual repression, anticathexis, gore, fetishism, police procedural, dreams as reality (Descartes First Meditation), and red herrings aplenty. Man, this plot twists and turns like a twisty turny thing! And that bat scene - it sure beat the tarantulas in The Beyond!

The film is stunningly shot and edited with judicious use of POV, split screen, wipes, macro zoom shots, wild pans. A great soundtrack that I think I may have to track down on CD, and that cover; a great piece of graphic design. Regarding the audio; it's really weird watching an Italian film set in London with English characters speaking Italian! I think I may try the English dubbed version next time.

I'm a big fan of Fulci's horror films and own four of them but this beats them hands-down. A trippy mindfuck of a psycho-sexual giallo masterpiece.

Original letterboxd review